Open Posted: Hosted By The Shark That Scared Mariah Carey

The best part of The Meg was Jason Statham shirtless and/or in a very snug wetsuit. But the movie would have been SO MUCH better if this had been the actual storyline. People reports that Mariah Carey (“Mimi” to her friends, lovers, and lambs) was trying to have what was probably her 3,000th vacation this summer on a yacht when a finny friend swam up to say hello. Instead of saying hi to Mr. Shark and going on about her luxury, Mimi waxed overly dramatic and began filming her visitor for Instagram. Jesus, it’s not like she had to go in a shark cage or something. (You really can’t wear stilettos in a shark cage. Safety first.)

View this post on Instagram

I'm upset!!!

A post shared by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on

View this post on Instagram

I'm upset!!!

A post shared by Mariah Carey (@mariahcarey) on

What Mimi isn’t realizing is that one of her children probably bypassed the parental controls she put on their tablets after the dog incident and ordered that shark as a yacht pet. Sharks as rich people pets are a big deal right now

Pic: Instagram

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