A recent episode of Keeping Up With The Kardashians shows the lead-up to Kim Kardashian’s appearance at the Met Gala earlier this year, where she pretty much defied human biology in a corseted dress by Thierry Mugler which cinched her waist to present a highly exaggerated silhouette in keeping with the event’s theme of ‘Camp’.
But Kim’s husband, rapper Kanye West, wasn’t a fan of the look, and claimed that Kim dressing “too sexy” affected him mentally.
“Like the corset, underwear, all that vibe, I just feel like I just went through this transition of being a rapper, and lookin’ at all these girls,” he said. “I didn’t realize that that was affecting like my soul and my spirit… You are my wife and it affects me when pictures are too sexy.” He continued to make things all about himself, saying that he’s “someone that’s married and in love and the father of what’s about to be four kids.”
First of all, being married and in love means supporting your spouse. And maybe, if after a year of preparation, the night before stepping out onto the red carpet, a wife turns to her husband and asks “how do I look,” he should just about be able to muster up a “you look great, honey.”
Kim called out his timing in the episode, saying that he was giving her “really bad anxiety” and “negative energy”, but the clip also highlights a troublesome point of view on Kanye’s part: namely, that Kim’s “sexiness” somehow reflects on him, as if she is his possession that he fears will be coveted by others. This behavior, often fuelled by jealousy or insecurity, can actually a sign of a controlling relationship.
“We have these cultural myths that jealousy is a sign of love, that spending all of one’s time is required in a loving relationship, that romance is giving up everything for love, and these ideas are kind of traps,” says Dr. Lisa A. Fontes, author of Invisible Chains: Overcoming Coercive Control in Your Intimate Relationship.
If this scene with Kim and Kanye rings bells, here are six common signs that you might be in a controlling relationship — and what to do about it.
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