Danny Cipriani shares the last messages he exchanged with Caroline Flack as he quits social media for a month while coming to terms with his grief over her death
- Danny revealed Caroline called him ‘black dot’ because he had changed his WhatsApp profile to that because he felt he couldn’t trust people in his contacts
- The pair dated from April to May last year
- Less than a week ago, Danny bravely admitted on Instagram that he once tried to buy a gun to end his own life as he discussed his own mental health battle
- He spoke about his grief after Caroline sadly took her own life on February 15
- Hours earlier, Caroline, 40, had discovered that the CPS would press ahead with her court case after she had been charged with assault
- Caroline was arrested at her north London home in December following a row with her boyfriend Lewis Burton, 27
- To contact the Samaritans, call 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
Danny Cipriani took to Instagram on Wednesday to share the last messages he shared with Caroline Flack.
In the messages, he reveals that she called him ‘black dot’ and that he spoke to her about ‘working in an industry that doesn’t suit him’ and she spoke about ‘the court case coming up.’
Danny, 32, also wrote in the caption that he is quitting social media for a month as he attempts to come to terms with his grief over the death of his close friend.
Brave: Danny Cipriani shared the last messages with Caroline Flack on Instagram on Wednesday as he quit social media for a month while coming to terms with his grief
Support: Danny shared these messages on social media as he shared a glimpse into how much he and Caroline had supported one another
The rugby player paid tribute to the ‘kind beyond belief’ late television presenter via his Instagram page.
He revealed Caroline called him ‘black dot’ because he had changed his WhatsApp profile to a black dot because he felt he couldn’t trust people in his contacts.
He penned: ‘Black dot. Before I start. This is my grieving process. Which is talking. A lot. Which my friends and family and teammates have had to take this last 10 days because I’m grieving.
Pouring his heart out: Danny penned this post to talk about his feelings, the grieving process and to explain why he would be coming off social media for a short while
‘And I’m grieving hard. Hence I’m talking a lot. I’m not sure I’d be strong enough if I didn’t understand or see myself in her. Pain is pain. It doesn’t matter if you’ve lost a cat. Or been called a name. No ones pain is worse or less.
‘Because it is individual to them and how they take it. So… Black dot. If you judge the first pic you see a black dot. But i didn’t really know what she meant when she called me black dot. Until her best friend told me on Sunday last week.
Close bond: Cipriani started dating Caroline Flack (pictured in the car) after the former Love Island presenter’s engagement to Apprentice star Andrew Brady ended last year
Love: Mollie Grosberg, a TV producer, posted this picture of Ms Flack in an Instagram story. It is thought to be the last picture of the former Love Island host, taken on Valentine’s Day
‘”She used to call you black dot, now i know, your WhatsApp pic is a black dot” – so i changed my WhatsApp pic to a black dot about 5 months ago because i felt there were people who had my number who i couldn’t trust.
‘Ultimately I would have let them into my life. So ultimately I would have to ask myself why. Anyway. This story is about the beauty she found in a situation i found uncomfortable.
Danny Cipriani’s struggle: How the star’s off-field issues saw him end up on the wrong side of the law
Danny Cipriani revealed on Instagram how he battled ‘severe depression’ when he was 22. He claimed to have caused himself ‘pain’ through ‘meaningless sex or painkillers or drinking alcohol’. His off-field issues put him on the wrong side of his clubs, and eventually of the law:
March 6, 2008: Cipriani, then a rising star of rugby union, was dropped from the England squad ahead of a game with Scotland due to ‘inappropriate behaviour’. He was pictured heading into a nightclub, though it was said that he was not drinking.
February 19, 2011: Playing for Melbourne Rebels, he was fined by the club when he helped himself to a bottle of alcohol at a Prahran nightclub follows a heavy loss by the Rebels. He later served a one-match ban for breaking his team curfew.
June 1, 2015: Cipriani smashes his Mercedes into a taxi down Imperial Road, Fulham, after a night out.
June 24, 2016: He is found guilty of drinking and driving from the June 1, 2015 incident, after court heard his eyes were ‘glazed’. Cipriani was said to be nearly twice the drink-drive limit, and was ordered to pay £7,620 and banned from driving for 18 months.
August 15, 2018: Cipriani was arrested and charged for common assault, larceny, assault on police, resisting arrest, and being disorderly on licensed premises in Jersey. It was reported at the time that Cipriani got into an altercation with a bouncer outside The Little Drift nightclub.
August 16, 2018: He pleaded guilty to common assault and resisting arrest from the August 15, 2018 incident, and was ordered to pay £250 compensation to a police officer. The other charges were dropped.
‘”I’m just talking to black dot” she would say. She was kind beyond belief. And she would think i am crazy doing all this. But i know she would be proud. I’m taking lent off social media. Thank you all for the kind messages.
‘And all the lovely response. Thank you for the bad response. It’s my story. And i did it for me. Then her – she wasn’t allowed to talk to her BF throughout the case because of the law. He wanted the charges dropped. They wanted to pursue.
‘I am not pointing fingers. The CPS and police do a good job. Just saying we can’t always do a good job. This is my grieving process.
‘Our greatest strength is our greatest weakness ❤️ ps – I was shown how to disable comments. So I’m going to do so on this post.
‘Because it’s for me and my grieving process. But in a month i will be back on social because that’s 2020 and this is me navigating my way through life.’
Danny’s latest post comes less than a week after he bravely took to social meda to reveal he once tried to buy a gun to kill himself.
Cipriani opened up about his past mental-health struggles in a heartbreaking 18-minute video posted on his Instagram account to his 211,000 followers.
The famous rugby fly-half said that he had been talking with Ms Flack, who killed herself over the weekend, for the past three to four months.
He said that the ex-Love Island host tried to contact Cipriani just hours before she tragically took her own life.
Cipriani said he felt ‘safe’ sharing everything with Ms Flack, and claimed ‘it was ultimately embarrassment and shame that killed her’.
Cipriani was unable to take the call or respond to her message because he was playing for Gloucester against Exeter in the Gallagher Premiership.
In the video, the former England superstar revealed that he went through ‘severe depression’ aged 22, and contemplated committing suicide. He spoke of causing himself ‘pain’ with ‘meaningless sex or painkillers or drinking alcohol’.
Cipriani said: ‘Someone that I loved as a person very dearly and someone I’m very close to has decided to take her own life, as everyone knows.
‘I’ve been speaking to her for the last three, four months. We’ve always been in contact since we were together, since we weren’t.
‘It’s always been a loving friendship.
‘I was so vulnerable with her in my moment, when we first met, and I told her everything about me because I felt safe with her.’
‘I told her all the things I was embarrassed and shameful about. And she made me feel OK.
‘And ultimately it was embarrassment and shame that killed her.
‘So I’m telling everyone now what my most embarrassing and shameful moments are, because I know she knew I had the strength to do this.’
An emotional Cipriani said: ‘When I was 22, I was going through severe depression. I was seeing a psychiatrist.
‘I met a guy who was at a nightclub, he ended up being around.
‘I knew he was a bad man, was in the scene, trying to make his way in whatever he was doing. I decided at this point it was time for me to take my own life and I tried to buy a gun from him.
‘And I pulled out. Then I tried to buy it again, but I pulled out.
‘This went on for two months. I couldn’t do it. Because I had some fight in me.
Trying to help others: Danny opened up about his own struggles in a heartbreaking 18-minute video posted on his Instagram account to his 211,000 followers
‘That was something that I went through and I’ve had to carry that.’
It is believed the former Wasps player had joined the Melbourne Rebels when he considered buying a gun.
Cipriani was in a public and high-profile relationship with model Kelly Brook between 2008 and 2010.
He then dated actress Lindsay Lohan in 2010, and Katie Price in 2011.
In 2015, the rugby union back told The Sun how he had suffered with depression for nine months after splitting up with Ms Brook, and had sought professional help.
Cipriani started dating Ms Flack after the former Love Island presenter’s engagement to Apprentice star Andrew Brady ended last year.
Reports from May told how the pair had decided to remain friends after their romance ended, before Ms Flack started dating Lewis Burton.
Cipriani said of his ex-girlfriend: ‘She knew everything about me.
‘The reason I’m saying this is because embarrassment and shame is not something that should make you do this.
‘It’s how we treat people and look after everyone, cause everyone has embarrassment and shame to some sort of degree.
‘Whatever it is, we be kind, we try to be gentle.’
To contact the Samaritans, call 116 123 or visit www.samaritans.org
The FINAL Instagram message that Caroline Flack wrote and was advised NOT to post online
Ms Flack’s mother shared the message in her local paper, the Eastern Daily Press (pictured), in Norfolk where she grew up
For a lot of people, being arrested for common assault is an extreme way to have some sort of spiritual awakening but for me it’s become the normal.
I’ve been pressing the snooze button on many stresses in my life – for my whole life. I’ve accepted shame and toxic opinions on my life for over 10 years and yet told myself it’s all part of my job. No complaining.
The problem with brushing things under the carpet is …. they are still there and one day someone is going to lift that carpet up and all you are going to feel is shame and embarrassment.
On December the 12th 2019 I was arrested for common assault on my boyfriend… Within 24 hours my whole world and future was swept from under my feet and all the walls that I had taken so long to build around me, collapsed. I am suddenly on a different kind of stage and everyone is watching it happen.
I have always taken responsibility for what happened that night. Even on the night. But the truth is… It was an accident.
I’ve been having some sort of emotional breakdown for a very long time.
But I am NOT a domestic abuser. We had an argument and an accident happened. An accident. The blood that someone SOLD to a newspaper was MY blood and that was something very sad and very personal.
The reason I am talking today is because my family can’t take anymore. I’ve lost my job. My home. My ability to speak.
And the truth has been taken out of my hands and used as entertainment.
I can’t spend every day hidden away being told not to say or speak to anyone.
I’m so sorry to my family for what I have brought upon them and for what my friends have had to go through.
I’m not thinking about ‘how I’m going to get my career back.’ I’m thinking about how I’m going to get mine and my family’s life back.
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