Kim Kardashian Is Trying to ‘Protect’ Her Kids From Kanye West & Her Inner Turmoil Is Loud & Clear

Kim Kardashian got raw and real in last night’s episode of The Kardashians. The SKIMS owner is mom to North, 10, Saint, 7, Chicago, 5 and Psalm, 4 who she shares with ex-husband Kanye “Ye” West. In the latest episode, Kim got candid about how she didn’t know how to handle West’s behavior. There were the antisemitic comments he came under fire for last year and other changes in his behavior that she didn’t know how to juggle and rectify, especially when it came to co-parenting. In a conversation with her sister Khloé, Kim revealed that she was struggling.

“I’m not OK,” Kim said through tears. “I’m having such a hard day today.”

She then opened up in a confessional explaining how difficult and “confusing” it has been to see the person she loved become someone totally different. And how she’ll always hope to “see a glimpse” of the man she married.

“The whole situation is sad and I don’t know how to handle it,” she continued. “I’m conflicted because I don’t ever want to jump in and be a part of a downfall for the father of my kids. Your instinct is to be like, ‘Wow I can never talk to this person again.’ But then you think of your babies. And so I’m having a hard time figuring it out.”

Later on, Kim snuggled up with her kids on the couch and viewers heard more from her confessional. She said she was “in the trenches” as a single mom who does “all the daily stuff,” morning routines, and night routines. “It’s like a pit stop with race cars.” And it’s a sentiment many single parents can relate to, even without the extra weight of figuring out how to manage their kids’ relationship with their father who has bipolar disorder.

“I am just in protection mode of my kids and just try to hide everything,” she said. “It’s just hard for me to figure out, if they don’t know anything, why wouldn’t dad come over for dinner? Why isn’t dad at my things?”