Fighting sucks. There’s no way to sugarcoat it. Life is stressful, and there are millions of reasons why couples fight. But for every fight to be had, there are plenty of strategies for solving disagreements with your partner. In the beginning of a relationship, you are your boo are still figuring out each others’ quirks. You may not know being late is bae’s biggest pet peeve, or that they will lose it if you don’t offer to pay for the Uber. As your relationship grows, your communication does too, and you’ll start to know what (and what not) to say.
Of course, long-term couples fight too. In a recent study by the Guardian, almost 1,000 adults attested that couples that have an open dialogue about disagreements are 10 times more likely to have longer term happiness in their partnerships than couples who don’t have it out.
It’s important to have hard talks, especially when you and your boo can’t seem to see eye to eye. Despite what movies or TV try to tell us, dating doesn’t mean constant agreement and skipping into the sunset. Money, family, exes, work, school, and drama don’t rest just because we’re now a party of two. Having a partner means caring for someone else, and understanding their needs.
When the conversation starts to drift from Where should we go to eat? to I actually can’t afford to go out every night and you’re making me feel bad about it, it can be healthy for you and your boo to say what you’re feeling. I spoke with five women about ways to solve a disagreement with boo.
1Listen
— Mary, 24
2Think good thoughts.
— Shai, 25
3Give space.
—Georgia, 23
4Let them win.
— Bee, 21
5Collect your own thoughts.
— Jess, 21
If you and your boo can’t seem to agree, consider trying some of these tactics. Assume that they don’t mean to hurt you, listen to what they are saying, and be clear with where you stand. Relationships take work, and having the hard conversations that can sometimes cause friction, can make all the difference in the long run.
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