Here's the best of them including the one from the final scene…
What are the best Vicar of Dibley jokes?
- “They’ve come up with a new low-fat communion wafer. It’s called ‘I can’t believe it’s not Jesus’.”
- “This nun is having a bath and there’s a knock at the door. She says ‘Who is it?’, and the reply comes, ‘It’s the blind man – can I come in?’ So says ‘alright then come in’. So this chap walks in and says: ‘Nice t**s. Where do you want me to hang the blind?'”
- “Two nuns are taking a bath. One asks: ‘Where’s the soap?’ The other one says, ‘It does, doesn’t it?'”
- “Two nuns are driving through Transylvania when a great big vampire jumps on the bonnet. One nun says to the other ‘show him your cross’. So the nun opens the window and yells: ‘get off my bonnet you toothy git!'”
- “Three nuns go up to heaven. Peter’s at the gates and he tells them they have to answer a question before they can come in. So he says to the first one ‘what was the name of the first woman?’ She says ‘Eve’ and he lets her in. He says to the second one ‘where did Eve live?’ She says ‘the garden of Eden’ and she too is allowed in. Then he says to the third nun ‘what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?’ She says ‘oh, that’s a hard one’, and he says ‘yeah, you’re in…'”
- “Santa Claus goes to the doctor and says ‘doctor, I think I’ve got a mince pie stuck up my bottom’. The doctor looks and says ‘oh dear, you do indeed have a mince pie stuck up your bottom. But you’re in luck – I’ve got some cream for that’.”
What was the final end scene joke in The Vicar of Dibley?
The final end scene in the 2007 special episode featured a joke from Gerladine (Dawn French) that Alice (Emma Chambers) finally got thanks to some help from Harry (Richard Armitage).
Here it is…
A boy was born without a body, no arms, no legs, he was just a head.
So for his 18th birthday his dad takes him the pub for his first pint. He takes a sip and BOOM – his body pops out. "Take another sip!" everyone shouts, then BOOM – his arms pop out. "Another!" everyone chants, so he takes another sip and his legs pop out.
The boy is really happy and he runs outside in excitement and he's hit by an oncoming truck and killed instantly.
"What a shame" his dad said.
"He should have quit while he was ahead"
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