Though their plots may tempt you, not every new feature on Netflix is worth your time.
Netflix has added a handful of horror movies over the past few weeks, and par for the course, only a few of them are worth watching. Out of the seven Netflix horror movies listed below, only three of them are worthy of your time.
The Mansion (Le Manoir)
Directed by Tony T. Datis, this French horror-comedy is about a group of ten college students—the usual band of character tropes that you would expect, such as the stoner, the hot chick, the virgin (final girl), the jock, and the like—who head to a remote mansion to bring in the New Year, and soon, they are killed off one by one.
Perhaps, if horror movies like Scream, Cabin in the Woods, and other self-aware horror movies were never made, then this would have felt as clever as the filmmakers wish it was. Instead, it just feels like a knockoff of the two above-mentioned films. The acting is decent enough, and there are some humorous moments, but there is nothing original or exceptionally entertaining here worth watching. Where a horror film doesn’t have to be fully original to be effective, The Mansion will just have you wishing that you spent your time revisiting a meta-horror movie that you already love.
Life After Beth
This is a great example of a horror film that’s not original but still effective. Written and directed by Jeff Baena, Life After Beth features an all-star cast: Aubrey Plaza, Dane DeHaan, John C. Reilly, Molly Shannon, Cheryl Hines, Paul Reiser, and Anna Kendrick.
There are no shortages of comedy-horror zombie-romance films, but given the cast, it’s nearly impossible to not be entertained by this one. There may be nothing new here, but Plaza as a member of the undead is worth the watch alone, that is, if you enjoy deadpan humor. There are also some gore-filled zombie sequences that fans of the subgenre will likely appreciate.
Emelie
Directed by Michael Thelin, Emelie stars Sarah Bolger, Joshua Rush, and Chris Beteem.
A couple’s replacement babysitter, Emelie (Bolger), turns out to be a killer involved in a kidnapping ring with a mysterious man, and she psychologically tortures the children under her care.
The majority of critics gave this horror film favorable reviews, but those reviews are a bit misleading. The majority of them praise the execution of the first two parts and describe the third part as a disappointment. If there’s no payoff, then what’s the point? Moreover, this is not a well-executed film. It’s very boring, so the ride to the ill-conceived finale isn’t worth the admission. Sarah Bolger is a talented actor, but there isn’t a talent in Hollywood that could make this script work.
Horror films involving children being tortured, physically or emotionally, can be hard to watch. Many fans avoid these types of movies altogether. But no worries here, as this Netflix dud is so poorly executed that the parts that are supposed to be disturbing are just bland and ineffective. A fleet of ships could fit through the plot holes, and it almost fits into the so-bad-it’s-funny category of horror films, but it fails to even achieve that status.
Tusk
Written and directed by Kevin Smith, Tusk stars Justin Long, Genesis Rodriguez, Haley Joel Osment, Michael Parks, and Johnny Depp.
IMDb provides the premise for one of the most uninspiring horror movies on Netflix.
“When podcaster Wallace [Long] travels to Canada to interview someone, he winds up meeting a strange man named Howe who has many stories to tell about his past life during his interview. Wallace wakes up the next day finding out Howe isn’t the person he thought he was. Howe has plans to surgically and mentally turn Wallace into a walrus.”
Weird horror films are usually welcomed, but this one misses the mark. Tusk could have easily been a horror film that entices laughter and scares, but it does little of either, although there are some funny parts. Unfortunately, the few humorous scenes don’t make up for this uneven movie. Even at under two hours, Tusk overstays its welcome.
This is one of those horror movies that’s constantly cycled on Netflix. The biggest downfall of this Kevin Smith feature is that there are no redeemable characters; Wallace constantly cheats on his girlfriend, his girlfriend is cheating on him with his co-host, and that just leaves us with the twisted individual with a walrus fetish. The only real reason to see this film is if you have a desire to know what Justin Long is like as a walrus.
Chernobyl Diaries
Directed by Brad Parker, this widely panned Netflix selection stars Ingrid Bolso Berdal, Olivia Taylor Dudley, Jesse McCartney, and Devin Kelley.
A group of tourists go on an extreme tour of the abandoned city of Pripyat, the former home to the personnel of the Chernobyl nuclear reactor.
This has an interesting premise, but exasperating dialogue and a shaky-cam only makes this Netflix entry annoying. Before the movie’s release, the Friends of Chernobyl Centers, U.S., stated the plot was insensitive to those who died or were injured during the Chernobyl disaster, as reported by TMZ, and this Netflix title is also insensitive to those who prefer their horror movies to be watchable.
Dreamcatcher
Based on the novel by Stephen King of the same name, Dreamcatcher is directed by Lawrence Kasdan, and it features an A-list cast: Morgan Freeman, Thomas Jane, Jason Lee, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Tom Sizemore, and Donnie Wahlberg.
A group of friends take a vacation together, and wouldn’t you know it, they’re plagued by a bunch of parasitic aliens that spread via bowel movements. So, this is basically one big fart joke.
Unlike Emelie, this Netflix feature fits snugly into the so-bad-it’s-funny category. You know what they say about movies based on novels, the book is almost always better. Considering that Stephen King said he didn’t like the novel because he wrote it stoned on Oxycontin, as he told Rolling Stone, you can just imagine how bad the film adaptation is. In fact, it’s so bad that it’s hilarious, and let’s not even get started on Morgan Freeman’s eyebrows.
The Strangers
Written and directed by Bryan Bertino, Liv Tyler and Scott Speedman star as a couple being terrorized by a mysterious group of strangers at a remote vacation home.
Way too many home-invasion horror movies have been made, but this Netflix gem is a must-watch. This subgenre has been around for decades, but thanks to solid performances and sharp directing, The Strangers feels fresh. It’s disturbing, violent, and absolutely terrifying. If you really want to be scared, then this is the film for you.
Liv Tyler delivers a stellar performance, and it’s a shame that she has only been featured in a few horror flicks. She portrays fear as good as any legendary scream queen, and it’s easy for viewers to rally behind her and Speedman’s characters.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=jKGiF5m-FNY%3Ffeature%3Doembed
Because of great acting, scary sequences, and an ending that will stick to your skin long after the credits role, The Strangers is one of the best horror movies on Netflix.
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