I get asked a lot about how I stay body-positive. For me, it’s not about being “positive” all the time. That’s not real and just perpetuates the idea that you need to feel a certain way about how you look. I think the key is to be truthful and share where I’m at with my body in the moment.
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There’s a big difference between positivity and confidence, and I always aim for the latter. Confidence means you can feel when you’re having negative thoughts about yourself and acknowledge—comfortably—that they might be true.
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Like, I wish my butt were bigger. I do! But I still love myself. I still have confidence. If I could wave a magic wand and get the booty of my dreams, sure, that would be awesome. But I recognize that a bigger butt wouldn’t bring me instant happiness. It’s just a silly body thing, and when you can get to a point where the silly body things don’t boil your brain, that’s the healthiest place to be.
“Even when I was bigger, I didn’t hate my body.”
You can still find things to critique in yourself—that’s okay. I had a major weight-loss journey where it was a goal to change my body. But even when I was bigger, I didn’t hate my body. I was still super-confident, even though I had goals and a desire to get healthier.
SYLVÈ COLLESS
I’ve gained about 10 pounds of “sanity weight” since being at my smallest, and I’m in this really healthy, comfortable, easy-to-maintain place where I can focus on growing in strength, advancing in my career, and doing all these other things without having so much of my headspace be about how I look.
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I know people are afraid to say when they’re struggling on Instagram, especially with body issues. They think they’ll let people down if they’re not positive 100 percent of the time, or if they admit they wish something was different. But I think what people really want is honesty, and to be able to relate and say, “I’ve felt that way, too.” So I say it when I’m having an off-day. And I don’t hide goals for my body.
I think that’s true confidence.
This essay is based on an interview conducted by Kristin Canning.
Chinae Alexander is an influencer and empowerment expert. For more inspiration from Chinae, pick up a copy of the September issue of Women’s Health on newsstands now.
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