Hilary Duff is opening up about the challenges of motherhood.
During an episode of The Motherly Podcast, Duff, 31, revealed becoming a mother at just 24 years old was pretty “isolating.”
The Younger star welcomed her first child — son Luca Cruz with ex-husband Mike Comrie in 2012.
“It was a little isolating in the beginning because I didn’t have any friends that had babies yet,” Duff said.
“But I had been working for such a long time that it felt like a natural step for me and I always knew I wanted to be a mom and I always knew that was going to be my number one priority in life. So, I felt ready on some fronts and a little scared on others,” she shared.
“I only got scared one I was pregnant, you know, thinking like, ‘Oh this is actually really happening. What if this? What if that?” she added.
Duff explained that once Luca, now 7, arrived, everything in her life changed.
“I did feel like after I had him, I lost a big chunk of my identity for maybe the first year and a half,” Duff said, adding that it wasn’t necessarily a “negative thing.”
However, she admitted “At times, I was sad about it, but you know it’s full on. I don’t remember setting him down for the first three months of life. I was obsessively goggling things and I just took it really seriously that I didn’t realize how all encompassing it would be.”
“I knew it was the most important, biggest job in the world but you know, it looks very different once you’re just in the household with the baby by yourself all the time,” she added.
Nonetheless, Duff said being a mother has been “shocking and it was also the happiest, most beautiful experiences, so those two things butting up against each other is quite a strange mix sometimes.”
“Once you do find yourself again, you have the biggest thing under your belt that nobody can take away from you and you’re so confident,” Duff said of getting her identity back.
“I did spin it as a positive thing because sitting in it when it was happening maybe I was a little sad about it and I didn’t feel like I had anyone to go through the experience with, but then I came out on the other side. I’m like, I’m a freaking super woman and I can do anything and I have confidence for days.”
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Duff split with Comrie, 38, in 2016. The actress has since welcomed another child — daughter Banks with fiancé Matthew Koma — and of course with her second pregnancy she experienced change once again, but she’s laughing it off!
On Friday, Duff hilariously put out a missing persons ad for her pre-baby abs.
“Sitting here thinking…gotta keep working on this body that was Banks’ apartment. A while ago…,” she said in one of her Instagram Stories. “Give me my abs back. Are they in there? Hellllllo come back.”
Duff also reflected on how her postpartum wardrobe of choice — high waisted sweatpants and jeans — was her nightmare outfit during her teenage Lizzie McGuire years, when low-waisted Juicy Couture sweatsuits and her beloved Frankie B jeans were the height of fashion.
“I was thinking if I told my 14-year-old self that I would hang out in sweatpants that cover my belly button I think I would have vomited on the spot and laughed in your face,” she joked. “My Frankie B’s were lyfe (who’s with me?).”
High-wasted pants or not, Duff’s body image has come a long way since her time on the iconic Disney Channel show. In those days, she would restrict her food to achieve a look that Duff now says was “too thin” and “unhappy.”
The actress said that those thoughts continued in the months after she gave birth to Luca, but she’s since learned to embrace her body, perceived flaws and all.
“I realized that I am never going to be the same again, and that’s okay,” she said in 2018. “I’ve learned to be proud of what my body does for me, and what it did while I was pregnant with my son. My body helped create a bond between us, and me being there for him in those first months of his life ultimately was far more important than me trying to get in shape right away. And that mental shift helped all the other stuff eventually fall into place.”
This article originally appeared on People. For more stories like this, visit people.com.
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