Dear Coleen
I’m a 51-year-old woman and I have been in a relationship with a man for more than nine years, although we don’t live together.
During this time, he has gone back to his ex-wife and fathered a child.
Then another child he had fathered was introduced to him about three years ago.
I accepted all of that, even thought it was tough, as I had a miscarriage near the beginning of our relationship. I have two children and the eldest is away at university.
This man is incredibly selfish and has told me that as long as he does what feels right for him, then it’s OK!
He is very insensitive and just doesn’t seem to care if I’m upset. I have cried so many times over the situation and all he does is smirk.
He has even told me I can make the choice to leave if I’m unhappy, so why don’t I?
I hate myself for being so weak. I was once a confident person, but he has reduced me to nothing. I’m at a point where I feel old, worthless and ugly. Please give me some advice.
Coleen says
The fact this relationship is making you feel worthless is a very good reason to wake up and get this toxic man out of your life.
You have to ask yourself why you are actually with him – what is he actually bringing to your life other than heartache and despair? Nothing as far as I can tell.
I think it’s become a habit that you can’t break because he’s destroyed your confidence. Yes, if you still have feelings for him, it’s going to hurt to walk away, but that will go.
When you make the decision to leave and take control of your life again, you’ll feel instantly better. You deserve so much more than to be treated like this.
From what you’ve said, I don’t think this relationship will ever be any more than it is – don’t get to 61 and waste another 10 years on someone who doesn’t deserve you.
And if you do tell him it’s over, be careful if he makes promises to suddenly change and tells you he loves you. That kind of manipulation is just a way of keeping control of you.
Read More
Dear Coleen
-
Son is angry with us after hearing sex
-
My daughter-in-law has walked out – why?
-
I resent having given up work for kids
-
I'm a lonely single mum looking for love
Source: Read Full Article