Roma Norriss is a former birthworker and now works as a parenting consultant. She lives in Somerset with her partner Alice Irving – a coach for neurodivergent professionals – and their children Rowan, 16, Zephyr ,15, Leo, 12, and Artemis, 11.
The first piece of advice I give to any parent is to make sure you are taking care of yourself, especially over the summer holidays, so you’re able to give your kids the attention they need.
When you’re burned out, it’s harder to be really present with your child. One of the ways that parents can fill up their emotional tank is spending time with other adults, swapping turns to offload emotionally (parents I work with practise Listening Partnerships – a structure for doing this) and being playful ourselves.
That’s what sustains us through the long summer holidays, and allows us to be better parents.
My partner Alice and I met when our youngest were babies and practised Listening Partnerships together. As an autistic ADHDer, she has had to develop her own systems in a world that isn’t set up for neurodivergent people. She has incredible skills, and the groundwork we’ve done together has set us up to parent our amazing kids.
Rowan is a genius in anything movement or performance oriented. He’s Alice’s elder boy. And then Zephyr is my son, he’s got this dry sense of humour. He’s really into cycling, and is becoming a wonderful photographer. Alice’s younger boy Leo is a bright, loving, quirky, kid. He can nail an adult Lego set in record time. Then there’s my daughter Artemis, she’s into everything. She competed at a national level in the Lego robotics championships, she loves go-karting, singing and creative writing.
I’ve been chronically ill for the last three years with a neurological disorder, so I’ve got limited energy and I’m in pain a lot. I’m hoping that I’ll recover, but for now I have a handful of good hours each week, which have to be divided between parenting, working and self-care.
My kids are mostly with their dad currently so I have to make the time I spend with them really count.
I’m careful that I don’t overstretch too much and end up in a state where they worry about me. But then they also need to know they are my priority, and I do that by offering regular doses of concentrated one-on-one time where I focus on being fully present and delighted. That might be finding a way to play for five minutes, listening to something that’s important to them or their jokes, so they go away with their connection tank filled.
We take our kids to activities they love, and we also do the less fun stuff, like making sure they don’t spend all their free time stuck to screens. There’s value in technology, but there’s an addictive quality that hooks them in, so they usually need support reducing that.
roma-norriss.mykajabi.com
Make This: Badibidu
Sheffield-based artist Cat Regi runs ‘antiperfection’ watercolour Zoom sessions for families through the summer holidays.
Materials are cheap and cheerful – any water-based paints, a pen, brush and paper.
Sessions are £5 and keep kids occupied around the laptop for an hour, with most of them carrying on for hours afterwards. The focus is more on the process than the results.
badibidu.com
Play This: Smartphone photography challenge
Get teens and tweens excited about photography and using phones in a more creative way with a family smartphone safari. Set a theme and offer prizes for the day’s best snaps. If you’re looking for inspiration, Jet Black Squares runs fun workshops around the country throughout the year and online sessions, too, and there are also ideas for challenges on its website. jetblacksquares.com
Spend This: Munchy Play Vroom-Vroom Plate
Keep mealtimes on track – and avoid screens at the table – with this cute plate featuring a built-in space for cars and trains.
Designed by Sophia Procter, who lives in Twickenham, to help make meals more fun for her 18-month-old son, each plate has a track compatible for toy cars and trains, with high sides for scooping food, and a sturdy non-slip base.
They’re dishwasher-safe, made in Britain and free of BPA, PVC and melamine.
Currently £14.85 from munchyplay.com.
Download This: Babbu
Every day is a learning day with this Montessori-endorsed online nursery app, co-founded by Charlie Rosier, a London-based single mum of a six-year-old girl, who serves as a UN delegate on the Commission on the Status of Women. It’s jam-packed with hints, lessons, tricks, podcasts, activities, songs, stories and advice and there’s a ‘buy-one, give-one’ model, so for every paying user a disadvantaged family in the UK gets free access.
babbu.co.uk
Remember to take care of yourself, as well as your kids
Try This: Get real
‘Get realistic about how much time you actually have for playing with your child. If you’re juggling working from home or other significant responsibilities then plan out your day so you can have regular 10 minutes of one-to-one playing without any distractions. It’ll keep their cup topped up and means, as they feel more connected, they’re less likely to demand negative attention,’ advises parenting mentor Rachel Brydon.
calminthechaos.co.uk
Visit This: Operation Ouch! Food, Poo and You
Spin the wheel on the poo-duction line and guess the smells in the stink chamber in this multisensory exhibition, looking at what happens to food after we eat it.
There’s commentary by kids’ TV favourites Dr Chris, Dr Xand and Dr Ronx, leading a scientific journey from the tip of the tongue to the end of the bum, plus a chance to put on a poo hat and get flushed down a giant toilet.
This is a chargeable exhibition but the museum is free.
Daily at the Science and Industry Museum, Manchester, scienceandindustrymuseum.org.uk
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