We’re going to need you to brace yourself for this breaking news: Disciplining kids is the worst. Because no matter how many times you consult your conscience and reference your own childhood and look to pediatricians, books, and the internet for guidance (we see you doing the work!), you’re not going to get it right all the time. Plain and simple.
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Because first of all, your plan of attack just might not work. Exhibit A: Prince William and Kate Middleton no doubt have every top-notch teacher and nanny and behavioral resource at their disposal when they can’t be with their children, and yet Prince Louis still has the iconic antics we live for.
Or, your plan might be flat-out wrong. And while we don’t like to be in the business of mom shaming, Reddit thinks one mom was totally off base.
She joined the Reddit “Am I The A-hole” subreddit to find out if she was the AH for how she disciplined her son. The original poster (OP) has a daughter Mae, 13 and a son Mic, 9. When the two kids got into a fight, this mom took an eye-for-an-eye approach that was way off-balance and didn’t teach the lesson she was going for.
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So What Happened?
Image Credit: Adobe Stock Mae was in the midst of her period and was having really bad cramps and “the worst mood swings.” She got snippy with her brother because he was being loud while playing Fortnite. And sure, that could have been a result of PMS. Or it could have been because siblings just get annoyed with each other. Can we stop blaming everything on uteruses?
Anyway, Mic decided to throw away all of Mae’s feminine products, so when she went to switch her pad, she found an empty drawer.
“I had to make an emergency run to get more pads for my daughter who’s already feeling sh*tty,” OP wrote.
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What Did Mom Do?
Image Credit: Adobe Stock OP was not happy with her son (rightfully so!) and when she heard him playing Fortnite and laughing with his friends about what he did, she grabbed his Switch and threw it in the trash.
“He starts crying and my husband was like, ‘Really?’ and took it out of the garbage and told my son he’s grounded from the Switch until we decide to give it back,” this mom wrote. “My husband locked it up in a safe in our bedroom and swears he won’t give it back but throwing it away was over the top.”
“But what our son did was cruel and he should be punished for it and a loss of his Switch is punishment,” OP insisted.
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What Does Reddit Think?
Image Credit: Adobe Stock Redditors are beyond confused! How did this mom think this was the right punishment? And who is the child here?! She repeated his malicious behavior — “Escalating it 100 times over.” — teaching him that this is an acceptable way to act when someone does something wrong.
“Your son threw your daughter’s belongings in the trash when he was angry, and you show him that’s wrong by doing the same thing?” one person wrote. “You’re an adult. What your son did was wrong, but you could have taught him that lesson by grounding him rather than having a sudden, scary, emotional reaction.”
“What your son did is bad and vengeful. But he is 9. You are the parent. You didn’t punish him, you did a tit-for-tat that is vengeful too.”
“How is this ‘tit for tat?’” someone asked. “Sister was mean to him. He threw out $5-10 in consumables. The mother’s reaction was to throw out $350+ of his things (realistically, probably $500-1000 since it made all his games worthless) and then argued he should be barred from his hobby FOREVER.”
“OP, if you don’t want your kids to overreact instead of working out their problems you have to set the example,” another person said
“Your behavior was just as juvenile as your 9-year-old’s. He has an excuse: He’s 9. What’s yours?”
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