Matthew Morrison‘s wife Renee has suffered a miscarriage.
The mother of one shared three selfie-style videos to Instagram on Saturday, simultaneously marking the couple’s son Revel James Makai‘s second birthday and revealing the sad news that she had experienced a pregnancy loss after they conceived their second child.
“Matthew and I have been so intentionally trying to get pregnant and calling our child … I’m trying to call in my child that I know is waiting for us,” Renee says in the emotional clips. “And I want to just open my life and my arms to this human. And so on our second cycle of calling this child in, we got pregnant. And it was among just such extraordinary intention and love.”
She explains that while she was “so secretive” with her first pregnancy, this time around, she was inspired to share the news with those closest to herself and the American Horror Story: 1984 actor, 40, because she has “connected so much with people” when it comes to motherhood.
“I found out [I was pregnant] at four weeks and began the cycle of miscarriage on my sixth week, and that’s a whole conversation that I would love to have but the point of today is to tell you how meditation helped guide me through this journey and this experience,” Renee adds.
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Meditation has helped Renee “rise above those conditioned thoughts” and “surrender to them and see if you want to accept that as your authentic thought,” she explains.
She also admits the experience did make her think about what could have caused the miscarriage, from a myriad of possibilities like working out to having a new masseuse — but instead of focusing on it, “I’m just not gonna choose to go there,” Renee says, sharing that she was “in bed for two days” during the harrowing experience.
Morrison asked if she was okay because she was so calm during the process, though, which she credits meditation for. The practice is something that has helped her see beyond simply “good” or “bad” — an outlook she has captured in part “through this raw and very painful” experience of miscarriage.
“I delivered Revel James unmedicated, and to go through a miscarriage, this purging of life … this conversation in your mind and the physical pain,” she recalls of the difficult feelings. “Then I have to take care of Revel.”
“Right now, meditation is for me to connect to presence, connect to self, and to give my body gratitude and grace and to, honestly, come back to trusting,” she continues. “Women, I want you to know that I feel you. And, God, you are goddesses. And we all deserve so much acknowledgment and love and support and encouragement.”
“That’s what I’m here to help us accomplish through sharing my story, my vulnerability, and just to say that I see you. I see you and I feel you, and we are Members Only,” Renee offers, imploring others who have gone through similar experiences “to step back from the fear we are putting ourselves in and the disconnection and the shame.”
“I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. I don’t feel sorry for myself, and to go through these experiences and to get pregnant and to be alive … to be alive is an accomplishment,” she adds.
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