Taking a moment to reflect. Kellan Lutz’s wife, Brittany Gonzales, shared how she’s learning to overcome devastation after suffering from a miscarriage.
“After tragedy or heartache, it can be tempting to shut down so you don’t feel pain. Aka survival mode. But when you shut yourself off to pain, you also shut yourself off to the things that can bring you joy too,” Gonzales, 31, wrote via Instagram on Sunday, February 16, captioning a photo of her and her 34-year-old spouse’s feet surrounded by chalk-drawn hearts. “I’ve done that in the past. More than once. I can tell you from experience it takes a LOT of work to soften your heart after you’ve let it go hard.”
The model continued, “Throughout the last two weeks I’ve worked SO hard to remain soft. As much as I’m tired of falling apart, and want to be done finding myself crying in a ball on the floor, if I allowed myself to fall into the temptation to shut down, I know I’d be missing those special moments that have made me smile and laugh and feel happy again.”
The couple encountered a sidewalk full of chalk heart drawings after attending church on Sunday. She said she used the street art as a positive reminder of what’s to come for the pair, who wed in November 2017.
“Instead of being numb to avoid all the things that remind me of being pregnant just two short weeks ago, I was able to see a sidewalk full of hearts as a little hug for my heart letting me know God’s got us. He’s not done writing my story,” she explained. “Like my doctor said the day I found out our sweet baby girl didn’t have a heartbeat anymore: ‘This isn’t the end of your story. This is just a crappy chapter, but you’re going to get through this.’ If you’re having a crappy chapter, this isn’t the end of your story either! You’re gonna get through this. But keep your soft heart! The world needs it! ?❤️????.”
In November 2019, the Twilight alum announced that he and his wife were expecting their first child together. “HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2019,” he wrote at the time via Instagram. “So much to be grateful for this year… and even more so in 2020! So proud of my wife @brittanylynnlutz and so pumped for our lil family to grow into 3 + Koda ? Get here already!”
Gonzales also posted about the exciting news to Instagram, writing: “Can’t wait to meet you little Lutz.”
Six months into Gonzales’ pregnancy, she revealed that the couple had lost their baby in a heartbreaking Instagram update. “Baby girl, It was my absolute honor and pleasure to be your mom these last 6 months,” she wrote on Thursday, February 6. “I did my best and it was an absolute joy seeing your little face all those times on that screen and feeling your tiny kicks. I don’t know why it happened the way it did, but part of me finds so much peace knowing you never experienced pain or heartache and never will.”
Lutz, equally, spoke out amid the tragedy. He noted how “it’s been a crazy rollercoaster of a week with a lot of emotions” following the miscarriage, calling Gonzales his “Wonder Woman.”
In the wake of her miscarriage, the California native opened up about the “pain” of this experience. She detailed the emotional aspect of missing her child and the physical “cruel reminder” of how her body continued to feel the bodily changes from pregnancy.
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