The mother of two has shared her words of wisdom since first adopting in 2012
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On How Her Life Has Changed Since Becoming a Mother
“Everything has changed! When I became a mother, I had already wanted it for a long time. I craved motherhood, and I was incredibly invested in it. It’s not easy to adopt, even when you’re a celebrity. But when I held my children in my arms, I was happier than I ever expected to be. Today, motherhood is a source of joy every single day, something stronger than everything else, more powerful than my career.”
— to Elle in July 2016
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On Adopting as a Single Mother
“It’s just the way things worked out. When you adopt, you have to do it unconditionally. I threw myself into the adoption process because I was convinced that I could fulfill the role of mother and give my children all the love and attention they need. No one aspires to become a single parent, but I learned a long time ago that you can’t control everything in life. I have adapted to the situation because I am pragmatic.”
— to Elle in July 2016
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On the Advice Her Own Mother Has Given Her
“I think every piece of advice has been really good from my mom. She’s like, ‘You know, what, tomorrow is going to be a new day. It’s not the end of the world.’ ”
“Sometimes I lose my mind especially in a car, like when we’re on a road trip or something, She’ll look at me and laugh … Then she’ll say, ‘It’s just a moment. It’s going to pass. It’s going to pass.’ ”
— to Us Weekly in April 2018
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On Her Children’s Identity
“I have two beautiful daughters who, just like any parent, I want to protect and I want to see thrive.”
“They were born who they are and exactly where in the world both of them get to find themselves as they grow up, and who they want to be, is not for me to decide.”
“My job as a parent is to celebrate them and to love them and to make sure that they have everything they need in order to be what they want to be. And I will do everything in my power for my kids to have that right and to be protected within that.”
— to Daily Mail in April 2019
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On Mommy Shamers
“I remember so vividly a parent really shaming me for raising my kids — who are both adopted — on formula.”
“A lot of times it’s the non-parents who are so ready to give you advice. … The world tells us that once you have a baby you just kind of naturally go into this state of knowing what to do. When you say anything honest about how messy it is, it tends to come with a lot of shame — and there shouldn’t be any shame attached to it. The more we kind of talk about it and share those experiences with each other, the less we feel alone.”
— to NPR in April 2018
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On Motherhood’s Unexpected Challenges
“I’m a single mom and I have an incredible village that helps me raise these two beautiful kids.”
“In the mornings I have them alone, and they kind of work against each other sometimes. One kind of decides to freak out, and then both decide to freak out. I don’t know why they decide to do that? You think they’d stand there and be considerate like: ‘Well, that one is freaking out right now, I’m not gonna freak out.’ They don’t do that.”
— to Ellen DeGeneres in April 2017
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On Raising ‘Two Proud Black African Girls’
“I am raising two beautiful proud black African girls and I want them to find themselves and not necessarily push my ancestry on them.”
— to Jimmy Fallon in May 2019
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On Adoption Being Her First Choice
“I never saw a difference in raising an adopted child versus my own biological child. I don’t feel like I’m missing out on something. This was always my first choice, even when I was in a relationship. I was very honest with my partners that I was open to having my own biological kids but that adoption had to be a part of my life. I felt that strongly about it.”
— to PEOPLE in May 2018
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On Instagram Post-Baby
“[Motherhood on social media is] this highly curated Instagram world of, ‘Which mom looks best in her bikini two hours after giving birth?’ I hate that that’s happened — everyone’s life looks cute when you throw a filter on it.”
— to USA Today in May 2018
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On Dating as a Mom
“Once I had my kids, the first two years you’re so — you turn into such a mom. Your body almost switches off. It’s like I had no desire to date or anything.”
— to Howard Stern in July 2017
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