Dear Anne
My husband surprised me last week when he gave me tickets for a month-long Caribbean cruise for our diamond anniversary. Our relationship has been cooling for years and suddenly, now our youngest is off to college, I get a romantic gesture?
I couldn’t handle it. I threw the tickets at him and yelled. No warmth from him for years and now this? I don’t even know how I feel. Do they do counselling for oldies?
Anne says
Yes, they do!
And you probably both need it – separately or together – to try to figure out your own feelings and future as a couple. Bringing up a family, it can be easy to grow apart.
Mainly because of the practical demands versus a partner’s emotional needs.
You are both past counselling through those years where you “have to find a way” to get on for the sake of the kids. They have flown the nest but it doesn’t mean the state of your marriage won’t have an impact. I have friends whose parents got divorced once they were in college and it still affects them. So don’t put it off thinking of their age.
You need to talk it through, with perhaps a Relate counsellor or an objective friend. What is important to you? Can you reignite a flame with him on a cruise or would you be thinking of the scuba instructor?
I understand your resentment. But, if it makes sense to give it another chance, go for it. If he lets you down, you tried.
Dear Anne
My lover is seeing so many women. How can I get him to see me as the special one? I knew from the first that he was playing the market. But I am falling in love with him. And he is SO cute.
Anne says
Run, run, run. I promise you this is the best advice. You know he is seeing other sexual partners yet you hang on in there. You know you are merely another statistic in his line-up. Come on, why do you want to be this moron’s “special one” ? Do you want to become a doormat?
Get real. Be a woman. Walk away. You deserve better. You don’t need this man to make you better in any way at all.
Dear Anne
My lover is seeing so many women. How can I get him to see me as the special one? I knew from the first that he was playing the market. But I am falling in love with him. And he is SO cute.
Anne says
Run, run, run. I promise you this is the best advice. You know he is seeing other sexual partners yet you hang on in there. You know you are merely another statistic in his line-up. Come on, why do you want to be this moron’s “special one” ? Do you want to become a doormat?
Get real. Be a woman. Walk away. You deserve better. You don’t need this man to make you better in any way at all.
Source: Read Full Article