A new study of 4,000 people has dug deep into what our fantasies really mean.
Researcher Justin L Lehmiller polled a thousands of Americans – ranging in age from 18 to 87, and covering a variety of backgrounds and sexual orientations.
The people were asked to describe their favourite sexual fantasy, in their own words, as well as answering 369 questions about their fantasies – which were published in a new book called Tell Me What You Want.
They then had to give info on their personalities, to see how much they related to each of 'the big five' traits – extroversion, openness to experience, conscientiousness, agreeableness and neuroticism.
If you're a stress head
If you're neurotic, meaning you're often stressed or anxious, you're more likely to fantasise about a romantic, passionate and relaxing experience with your partner.
“Neurotic people fantasised more about passion and romance, perhaps because feeling desire puts them at ease and allows them to relax and enjoy the activity,” Lehmiller told Huffington Post.
“Neurotics fantasised less about having group sex and trying new things, perhaps because these activities involve elements of uncertainty, which can be stressful.”
If you like making people happy
Agreeable people like to translate their caring natures into the bedroom – and tend to fantasise about mutual pleasure.
Lehmiller said: "They really want to see their partners enjoying themselves and be absolutely sure that everything is safe and consensual.
“Agreeable individuals also have far fewer fantasies about emotionless sex and taboo activities.”
The battle of the sexes
- When it came to comparing men and women, us ladies were bolder and more intense in our fantasies.
- But, all in all, we have more in common than Lehmiller was expecting.
- The men's fantasises had more emotional content than previous studies have suggested.
- While the women's fantasies were far more adventurous than he expected.
If you're an adrenaline junkie
Adventurous people love to experiment in the bedroom and tend to be "curious and imaginative" souls, Lehmiller said.
He added: “They fantasise about almost everything you can think of, from conventional sex acts to things that are sexually taboo."
If you pay attention to detail
Conscientious people tend to be very detail-orientated, and their fantasies are anything but vague.
Lehmiller said: "They paid more attention to the settings in which their fantasies took place. In bed, they have a tendency to conform to norms.
"Conscientious folks were less likely to fantasise about BDSM and taboo sex acts.”
Want to know where you fit in? Take the quiz below…
If you're outgoing
Extroverts love a sociable sexual fantasy – think threesomes and consensual open relationships.
But, interestingly, they were less likely to fantasise about taboo sex acts.
If you're shy
Introverts, on the other hand, were most likely to dream about taboo sex acts – perhaps because they struggle to tell their partner what they want.
Lehmiller said: “This may be because introverts have a harder time establishing the types of sexual relationships they want and that increases their propensity for developing taboo and uncommon sexual interests.”
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