Kim Kardashian's anger, guilt and tears of sadness over Kanye's rants

Kim Kardashian’s anger, guilt and tears of sadness: What REALLY happened behind-the-scenes during Kanye West’s anti-Semitic rants and why she still holds out hope that he’ll recover after ‘downfall’

Kim Kardashian opened up about her struggles with ex-husband Kanye West, and broke down in tears over his controversial anti-Semitic rants.

The 42-year-old reality star – who made headlines for a very racy wedding dress – went to visit her 39-year-old sister Khloe on this week’s episode of The Kardashians, where she broke down in tears over West’s controversial comments.

The rapper made headlines last fall for suggesting on Instagram that Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs was being ‘controlled’ by Jews and later tweeting he would go ‘death con 3 on Jewish people.’

Kim had previously opened up about Kanye earlier this season, revealing she was, ‘tired of being Kanye’s clean-up crew’ and added she needed to let him hit, ‘rock bottom’ on his own.

Kim was so distraught by Kanye’s comments that she was an hour late for a meeting, heading over to see Khloe before the meeting.

Tears: Kim Kardashian opened up about her struggles with ex-husband Kanye West, and broke down in tears over his controversial anti-Semitic rants

Kanye’s tweets: The rapper made headlines last fall for suggesting on Instagram that Sean ‘Diddy’ Combs was being ‘controlled’ by Jews and later tweeting he would go ‘death con 3 on Jewish people’

Distraught: Kim was so distraught by Kanye’s comments that she was an hour late for a meeting, heading over to see Khloe before the meeting

‘I have a meeting I’m an hour late, I just can’t get it together,’ Kim admits, and when Khloe asks if she’s OK, Kim says, ‘No, I’m not OK,’ and breaks down in tears as Khloe gives her a hug.

‘I’m having such a hard day today,’ Kim says through tears, as they show numerous headlines about Kim’s ex-husband Kanye West and his anti-Semitic statements.

‘It sucks, you know, when someone doesn’t see how different they are,’ Kim says in confession, as a producer asks, ‘But you keep looking for that person.’

‘I always will. You’ll always hope that you’ll see a glimpse of him, and, like, I hope I do,’ Kim says in confession, through tears.

Kim tells Khloe through tears, ‘I just like I’m an hour late to that meeting and I’m never running late. He flew in all the way from Belgium and I just can’t get it together.’

Khloe tells her, ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s OK. That stuff doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t,’ as Kim admits she hasn’t changed her outfit in two days.

‘I just have to get it together, I just can’t. I don’t know why. I always can and I just can’t,’ Kim admits, as Khloe tries to reassure her.

‘You don’t have to get it together, you don’t have to be strong all the time. Like, you’re allowed to go through this and have your feelings. You’ve been dealing with, like, what you’ve been dealing with is not OK,’ Khloe adds.

Kim adds in confession of Kanye, ‘It’s really confusing for me, it’s so different than the person that I married because that’s who I loved and that’s who I remember, you know… I’ll do anything to get that person back.’

Can’t: ‘I have a meeting I’m an hour late, I just can’t get it together,’ Kim admits, and when Khloe asks if she’s OK, Kim says, ‘No, I’m not OK,’ and breaks down in tears as Khloe gives her a hug

Can’t: ‘I’m having such a hard day today,’ Kim says through tears, as they show numerous headlines about Kim’s ex-husband Kanye West and his anti-Semitic statements

Sucks: ‘It sucks, you know, when someone doesn’t see how different they are,’ Kim says in confession, as a producer asks, ‘But you keep looking for that person’

Doesn’t matter: Khloe tells her, ‘It doesn’t matter, it’s OK. That stuff doesn’t matter, it really doesn’t,’ as Kim admits she hasn’t changed her outfit in two days

Confession: Kim adds in confession of Kanye, ‘It’s really confusing for me, it’s so different than the person that I married because that’s who I loved and that’s who I remember, you know… I’ll do anything to get that person back’

Can’t: ‘I just have to get it together, I just can’t. I don’t know why. I always can and I just can’t,’ Kim admits, as Khloe tries to reassure her

Kim tells Khloe, ‘I feel so bad for him. I don’t even think he feels bad for himself, I don’t even know if he knows how.’

Khloe adds in confession, ‘I feel so heartbroken seeing Kim in so much pain. I wish I could do something. It’s such a helpless feeling, because me watching Ye is like watching a car crash in slow-motion. Like I feel terrible about everything.’

Khloe asks Kim if she’s spoken with Kanye, and she says, ‘No, and it’s like, should I reach out?’

Khloe asks if that would make her feel better and Kim says, ‘No, he’ll probably just go off on me, you know, but like, then I like feel guilty that I posted something in support of the Jewish community and then people dropped him today and I’m like, is that my fault that like I posted that and did that like push them? Should I just keep quiet? But I’m vocal about everything else and it’s like I never know what to do.’

Back in confession, Kim admits, ‘The whole situation is sad and I don’t know how to emotionally manage it. Like, I’m conflicted because I don’t ever want to jump in and be part of a downfall for the father of my kids.’

Khloe tells Kim that it’s not her fault, adding he had, ‘so many opportunities to retract what he said and he would double-down all the time,’ adding in confession, ‘None of us share these anti-Semitic views. We think it’s gravely irresponsible. We’re all very aware of the following Kanye has and how his words can be used to rile people up.’

Khloe tells Kim, ‘I think sometimes our silence speaks louder, and what you did was not wrong. What you did has nothing to do with what’s happening right now.’

Kim adds, ‘People make their own choices and their own decisions,’ as Khloe admits, ‘Kim, every single day I feel bad about (her ex) Lamar (Odom). Every single day. I feel bad about Tristan not being on a team right now. Lamar is forever going to be remembered for being a drug user. These are Kanye’s things but that doesn’t mean we don’t feel bad about it. I’m not on your level and I’m not going through what you’re going through right now, but I can relate. It’s OK that you’re crying. It’s OK that you have feelings. You’re such a good person and that’s why you feel like this and that’s why your heart is breaking for him. People have probably wanted to cancel him for awhile and he’s always said, ‘I’m not cancelable,’ or whatever the word is, and now this is probably just the last thing but, this too shall pass.’

Feel bad: Kim tells Khloe, ‘I feel so bad for him. I don’t even think he feels bad for himself, I don’t even know if he knows how’

Heartbroken: Khloe adds in confession, ‘I feel so heartbroken seeing Kim in so much pain. I wish I could do something. It’s such a helpless feeling, because me watching Ye is like watching a car crash in slow-motion. Like I feel terrible about everything

Silence: Khloe tells Kim, ‘I think sometimes our silence speaks louder, and what you did was not wrong. What you did has nothing to do with what’s happening right now’

Protect: ‘Kim wants to protect her kids from everything, and who doesn’t, but I want to protect her,’ Khloe says in confession, as Kim leaves Khloe’s office

Khloe adds in confession that Kim, ‘feels all this pressure,’ adding there is, ‘so much mounting up and there is only so much that one person can take.’

‘Kim wants to protect her kids from everything, and who doesn’t, but I want to protect her,’ Khloe says in confession, as Kim leaves Khloe’s office.

Kim admits in confession, ‘It’s really f***ing hard. It’s really f***ing hard, and I don’t wish that upon anybody. I’m never like a woe is me sad kind of person, but there are times where I get overwhelmed. There is so much to think about. I’m so angry, but I’m also so sad. Your instinct wants to be like, ‘Wow, like, I could never talk to this person again,’ but then you think about your babies, so I’m having a hard time figuring it out.’

She added, ‘I’m going to a meeting with Axel Vervoordt, who is an amazing architect that Kanye introduced me to, so it’s like bringing the best memories of Kanye, of the best times that he gave me in our marriage and I’m always so grateful and so respectful and like I know that was all him, but I need to move on. I can’t be held down by bad choices, bad decisions, traumas, I just, I can’t.’

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