Jada Pinkett Smith breaks down in tears as she reveals regrets at her last words to ‘soulmate’ Tupac
Jada Pinkett Smith broke down in tears as she reflected on her relationship with Tupac Shakur.
The pair were childhood friends and considered each other their ‘soulmates’ but Jada revealed that in a cruel twist of fate the pair had argued and were not talking when the rapper was shot and killed in 1996.
During an appearance on Steven Bartlett’s The Diary Of A CEO podcast, Jada broke down in tears as she was handed a picture of herself with Tupac and their friend Maxine – who tragically died by suicide around the time of Tupac’s death.
Jada met Tupac at school and the pair had an instant connection ‘as if we already knew each other.’
Yet despite their close bond the pair did not have a physical connection, which Jada confessed that their loved ones and they themselves couldn’t understand.
Heartbreaking: Jada Pinkett Smith broke down on Steven Bartlett’s The Diary Of A CEO podcast, as she reflected on her relationship with Tupac Shakur
Tragic: Jada broke down in tears as she was handed a picture of herself with Tupac and their friend Maxine – who tragically died by suicide around the time of Tupac’s death
She recalled: ‘Pac and I had a hard time understanding why we didn’t have it and I [remember]being on the back of porch of my house and we’re having this discussion I’m like “okay Pac just kiss me”.
‘And he kisses me and it’s the most disgusting kiss between us both! I mean he pulled back and I pulled back and I was like “see dummy!”‘
Jada explained: ‘Throughout our relationship we definitely had this beautiful closeness that was really intimate but never physically intimate.
‘A lot of emotional intimacy, a lot of intellectual intimacy. We just knew how to reach each other in ways that was very difficult. We knew how to get around each other’s walls and we didn’t get offended when we would fall into our defaults of defence – which could be be pretty fierce!
‘Our arguments were very passionate but because we were one and the same in that way we kind of understood that language.’
Revealing she was glad they didn’t date, Jada explained: ‘I think physical intimacy can really get in the way and I think that God just made it that way. God was like “no I got a plan and that’s not part of the plan.”‘
Despite not pursuing a physical relationship, the pair had such a strong bond that Tupac proposed to Jada.
At the time he was serving a sentence in Rikers Island after being convicted of convicted of sexual abuse but asked for her hand in marriage in the form of a letter.
Reading out an extract, Jada shared: ‘Now as I slip from grace and the world has turned against me a few claim to have love for me but once again you show your love.
‘After deep reflection and spiritual awakening I have come to realise the friend, love and soulmate was there all the time.
‘I have not seen or felt from anywhere anyone the intensity and loyalty that you have shown me. That is why I want to commit myself to you. I want to marry you.’
Jada turned down his proposal but stayed in his life until the pair had a ‘huge’ fight about Tupac’s actions and behaviour following his prison release.
She explained: ‘It was one of the biggest fights we ever had and it was about how he had been living you know.
‘I really at that time had to let him know my position that I just felt like where he was sitting with everything was just – it wasn’t going to end up well. We had a magnanimous – I mean it was just beyond the two of us – just at each other.
‘And I was just like “f**k that”, I’m not calling him this time, he’s going to have to call me, he was way out of line. So I really dug my heels heels in the ground. I let my pride, I let my ego come in.
‘I really took for granted that he would be living forever, he had already survived so much. I looked at Pac as being invincible at this point…
‘That was the last time I spoke to him and you know what’s crazy, it meant absolutely nothing.’
Less than a year later Tupac was shot and killed at the age of 25.
The killing remained a cold case for more than a quarter of a century, until Las Vegas investigators announced the arrest of Duane ‘Keffe D’ Davis, 60.
Friends: Jada’s friendship with the late rapper began at the Baltimore School of the Arts in Maryland and they formed an instant connection
Regrets: the pair had a ‘huge’ fight about Tupac’s actions and behaviour following his prison release and it was the last time they spoke before he was shot and killed
Elsewhere in the chat, Jada admitted she ‘resented’ husband Will Smith when they separated because she felt like she’d been ‘thrown to the curb.’
The Magic Mike XXL star revealed last week that she and Will, 55, secretly separated seven years ago and have been living apart.
Touching on their separation, she explained their troubles stemmed from having different ‘love languages’ and Jada mistakenly believing that she would find happiness through Will rather than in herself.
She explained: ‘Will’s love language was “I want to work. I want to work hard so that you can have everything in the world that you’d ever want. You’re not going to need for anything.”
‘My love language was “I just want you to be here with me. I don’t need all of that stuff, I want to look in your eyes and feel your love and feel your protection here with me.” It was like that connection I wanted to feel.’
READ MORE: Jada Pinkett-Smith’s care for Tupac hindered her marriage to Will, relationship expert reveals
Jada continued: ‘I wanted to make a masterpiece out of our connection. He wanted to make a masterpiece out of you know the life itself, and neither’s wrong.
‘That’s what I had to learn, where we’ve come to now and understanding neither one of those wants are wrong. So how do you balance them? Because it can’t be one or the other. Everything about life is balance.
‘As couples we get into these power struggles [but] it’s not about anybody being right or wrong, it’s how do you get the balance of it. It took Will and I three decades!’
Explaining that she lost herself in the relationship, Jada continued: ‘I felt at that time “I want to help you do all of those things I’m here to help you with that” and in return I should get a bit of what I want.
‘It was me just giving and giving and forgiving… not realising that I was abandoning myself in the hopes that if I just keep pouring into this, if I just keep pouring into him, if I keep pouring into his dream, I’m going to eventually get what I want.
‘That’s a false idea in so many ways and so many of us do that. If Will looked back and was trying to give me whatever the hell it was I was asking for he wouldn’t have been able to accomplish it anyway.
‘Because if I’m not connected to myself, if I don’t have a good relationship with me, there’s nothing he can do.
‘That’s part of the journey, there’s no right or wrong. Everybody’s always trying to find the good guy or bad guy in people’s stories.
‘There’s no good guys or bad guys we’re all wounded trying to figure this s**t out and so it took me a long time to realise it is not his responsibility to make you happy. He can’t.’
Jada confessed that she felt at odds because she couldn’t figure out why she wasn’t fulfilled and revealed that when she and Will separated he told her to go and ‘make herself happy.’
Asked how she took his advice, Jada confessed: ‘Not well!
‘I think it was very true but at that particular point of time I was just still really resentful.
‘I’m just like “oh so I helped you get your happiness now you just going to you know throw me to the curb and you know I got to do it all on my own now” but that’s the truth I had to do it on my own, you know just like he did.
Candid: Elsewhere in the chat, Jada admitted she ‘resented’ husband Will Smith when they separated because she felt like she’d been ‘thrown to the curb’ (pictured in 2014)
‘A lot of that’s what it’s about, me detoxing from needing fulfillment and validation outside of myself, detoxing from needing it from Will, my marriage, my family, my career.
‘I had to get to the bare bones of Jada and walk the exiled lands.’
Jada previously revealed that she and Will, who tied the knot in 1997, are still trying to ‘figure out’ what the future of their marriage looks like.
Speaking to People, Jada explained that no permanent decisions have been made about the future of her marriage, explaining that she and Will are ‘still figuring it out’.
‘We’ve been doing some really heavy-duty work together,’ she said. ‘We just got deep love for each other and we are going to figure out what that looks like.’
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