American Airlines is no stranger to controversy — the Texas-based airline has come under fire many times for the hostile manner in which their flight attendants treat patrons on their planes. While several of the most recent unacceptable incidents have been on the basis of racial discrimination, a new scandal may be brewing thanks to one Reddit mom’s claims that she was shamed while breastfeeding her daughter in-flight.
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The upset mother shared her distressing experience on the social network’s breastfeeding subreddit (r/breastfeeding), explaining that she was on her third flight with her 5-month-old daughter who is “an absolute rockstar” on planes “as long as she’s on me and has access to food and as long as her head isn’t covered.” Knowing breastfeeding keeps her baby content and comfortable, that’s just what this mom did during their flight with American Airlines.
American Airlines: “it’s common courtesy to cover up when men and children are around”
by u/letmefeedmybaby in breastfeeding
“Mid-flight, a flight attendant tapped my shoulder,” the mom recalled. “She said that I ‘needed to cover up’ because ‘there were men and children around.’ My daughter was fully latched and had been the entire flight, so there was no nipple or even areola showing. The top of my breast was showing, but… I mean, I used to show more cleavage on a weekend night out. Swimsuits show more,” the woman wrote, utterly perplexed, and we’re right there with her.
After she explained to the attendant that her daughter won’t eat or sleep if she’s covered, the mom “was told this didn’t matter” and she “still needed to cover up.” She asked if being covered while breastfeeding was an American Airlines policy, and she “was told it was ‘common courtesy.” The puzzled mother wrote, “That’s the phrase this woman kept repeating. ‘Common courtesy.’”
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The Flight Attendants Double Up — & Down on Their Stance
Image Credit: Getty Images. The distressed mom wrote that two additional flight attendants used the same “common courtesy” shaming phrase when she asked them if she had to be covered while feeding her child.
She wrote, “’A parent complained over their child seeing that,’ one of them said. A parent, you guys. A parent who has also raised and fed a child, and who has presumably dealt with an unhappy child on a plane, found it so offensive that I fed my child in public that they complained,” she shared.
“Again, I asked if this was American Airlines policy. Again, I was told it was ‘common courtesy’ when there are ‘men and children around.’” As if kids can’t easily be told that’s one way you can feed a baby, and as if men aren’t out here ogling at women whenever it suits them. That’s just our society though, right? Women can only be nude in a way that’s acceptable to men, and the biological task of feeding an infant isn’t just cause for seeing a breast. Right.
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Feeling Shamed & Stigmatized
Image Credit: Getty Images. The mom shared that her infant cried for the final 45 minutes of the flight “because, in my absolute shock over this situation, I had covered her. … I feel like I failed her,” she wrote. “I feel like I should have refused to cover up and should have nursed her openly like I planned. I hated listening to her cry, hated struggling to hold her while her head was covered, hated dealing with back pain as I tried to hold her in a way where she’d get comfortable.”
“I was just so shocked by the demand that I cover up that I froze — and it was a demand,” she asserted. “There was such a tone of disrespect bordering on hostility that I can’t even explain. I felt like such an inconvenience at best — or a pervert at worst — based on the way these flight attendants spoke to me.”
The mom continued, “I think the ‘men and children’ comment upset me the most. The message I received was that the feeding of my child was either sexualized, for men, or inappropriate, for children, and I can’t decide which idea upsets me more. I’m also so, so disgusted that a consistent group of people — other parents and multiple flight attendants — would put their discomfort over a body part over an infant’s comfort and the comfort of every other person around them when my baby started crying.”
She ended the post by sharing she wrote a formal complaint to American Airlines, though she “doubts they’ll do anything.” She added, “I’m already planning what to say if this should happen again, because I won’t compromise next time, but…ugh. My heart still hurts for my little girl.”
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Reddit’s Rage on Her Behalf
Image Credit: Getty Images. “I’d. Be. Livid,” one Redditor replied to the original poster (OP). “I’m so sorry that happened to you. I totally get the feeling of shock though and trying to cover up, sometimes I’d probably do the same thing. But what the actual f*ck,” they wrote.
A fellow mom shared her stance on the audacity of the situation, writing, “I exclusively fly American with my daughter, a boob monster. She pretty much stays latched from the time we are seated, boarding group 1, so the whole a** flight boards to a view of my boob.”
The Reddit user continued, “She does not continuously stay latched, because she’s a baby and an entire plane boarding is distracting. People can just like….choose not to gawk at me? Great time to teach your kids either a) people use boobs to feed babies and/ or b) don’t stare at people.”
Another person shared their own befuddlement, commenting, “The thing that especially boggles my mind here is that everyone on a flight is facing forward, unless they’re up to use the bathroom. It’s one of the most discreet public places to nurse,” they wrote. “Whoever complained probably saw you in passing for a matter of seconds as they were coming to and from the bathroom. People can be the worst. I’m so sorry this happened.”
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Taking Action
Image Credit: Getty Images. Some Redditors were so enraged on behalf of the mom that they encouraged her to take her story to Twitter to “let the internet handle it.”
Another user, a publicist, offered to help OP share her story with relevant journalists and media outlets. They wrote, “Media attention would force AA to respond and address their policies, and other airlines would take notes. … Breastfeeding is hard enough. Traveling with a baby is hard enough. It’s awful that the people who should be trained to help you, make it even harder. It’s not okay.”
Several other Redditors reached out with contact information to local news stations, and OP seems to be pursuing every suggestion sent to her by concerned individuals — especially after she shared the vague corporate email response she got from American Airlines following her initial complaint sent through their online customer service form.
Breastfeeding in public has long been stigmatized by our inherently misogynistic society, and though we’ve taken strides forward in normalizing breasts as conduits for feeding children, this brewing American Airlines scandal is just the most recent major incident signaling a step backward and a long way to go in destigmatizing a normal, nonsexual, biological function.
Because let’s not forget — had OP been bottle-feeding her baby, she’d have been on the receiving end of judgy glares from fellow flyers for depriving her child of the “superior” nutrients in breastmilk. It’s simply another day in the nonsensical cycle of society’s stance on “the right way” to feed a child, when the right way is as simple as what’s most comfortable and sustainable for both mom and baby.
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