Kellan Lutz‘s wife Brittany is opening up about the complicated array of emotions she’s experienced since losing their baby.
Three days after sharing the heartbreaking news that their daughter on the way had died, Brittany, 31, thanked everyone who had supported the couple and shared their own stories.
“First of all, THANK YOU to all of you. Your love, support, encouragement, kindness … it’s been overwhelming in the best way. It [is] also shocking how many of you have been through the same thing. You are all superwomen,” she wrote. “To those who have been vulnerable and shared your own experiences with us, we appreciate you letting us into painful chapters of your lives for the sake of showing us we aren’t alone.”
“This has, without a doubt, been the hardest season of my life. It feels as though within one day we went from a season that felt like a warm summer day, to the most frigid, windiest, iciest, day ever recorded,” she added in her Sunday Instagram post, alongside a photograph of a bouquet of flowers she had received from her husband that included a “single white rose for our daughter.”
Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE’s free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from juicy celebrity news to compelling human interest stories.
Kellan Lutz’s Wife Brittany Loses Baby Six Months into Pregnancy: “Until I See You in Heaven”
Reflecting on her emotional state, Brittany explained that her feelings “are slightly all over the place” at the moment, but that “is to be expected.”
“Some moments I feel so full of peace and hope and expectancy. And other moments, simply put, it all just hurts like hell,” she wrote. “I think it is important to try to always operate from a place of positivity, but that doesn’t mean you don’t acknowledge the other side too. We are human after all. We all hurt, bleed, cry. Feeling the negative emotions doesn’t make you negative.”
In addition to the pain of missing her baby “a lot,” Brittany went on to share that her “milk came in last night,” which is taking a toll on her physically and emotionally.
“It feels like a cruel reminder that I have no baby to feed,” she wrote, explaining that her arms and neck are also “covered in bruises from IVs and blood transfusions and my body is so sore from fighting to survive.”
However, there are also reasons for Brittany to feel hopeful.
“I’m still here!!! I’m writing this right now and feel humbled,” she said, going on to praise Lutz, 34, and their loved ones, “who have poured so much back to me that I feel full.”
“Even though this is so heavy, I have an unexplainable hope and excitement for the future,” she added. “I’m not ready for another pregnancy right now (not sure when I will be honestly), but I’m excited to heal and move forward and explore this new version of myself.”
Continuing, she wrote, “This situation didn’t make me the person I thought I would become (specifically a mother to a real life baby girl), but it did birth a new version of me. Truthfully I’m scared and nervous but at the same time really eager to get to know her.”
Hilaria Baldwin Goes to Therapy “Regularly” After Pregnancy Loss: I “Needed to Choose Happiness”
As Lutz shared their tragic news last week, he praised his wife’s strength, calling her “my wonder woman.”
“It’s been a crazy rollercoaster of a week with a lot of emotions,” the former Twilight star wrote. “Taking heartbrokenness to a whole new level, but grateful for these past 6 months and the journey itself. In life we might not get the answers to all of our questions but we will always remain faithful!”
“I love you @brittanylynnlutz. Thank you for all your love, respect in this private time, understanding of this situation, and utmost support. Just know we love you all and appreciate you all and we process all differently,” he added.
The FBI: Most Wanted actor concluding his post by writing, “Can’t wait to see our baby girl in Heaven when God calls us home.”
Source: Read Full Article