Navigating friendships can be tricky, and sometimes it can be hard to be sure who you can trust. Truth be told, there are a lot of fake people in the world — and life is too short to surround yourself with people who are full of negativity or who aren’t genuine.
Everyone wants a solid “friend group” of people that they can count on, but how do you know if a friend truly has your back or if your friendship is unhealthy? Can you spot the difference between a real friend and a toxic friend? Fortunately, there are some surefire ways to tell if a friend is the real deal.
A good friend tells it like it is
Psychiatrist Robert Rowney told HuffPost that a good friend is supportive and makes you feel good about yourself. “Real friends naturally boost your self-esteem,” he said. “And in turn, helping out a good friend [in this way] can help you feel better about yourself as well.”
That doesn’t mean that a true friend will only tell you what you want to hear — someone who is a good friend will also call you out when necessary. “They’re able to point out some of the negative things you’re doing in addition to the positive,” said Rowney. “They really support you on both sides.”
He added, “If it’s a superficial friend or a new friend, they’re not going to say anything that may be off-putting. But if it’s a real friend — someone you truly trust — they know they can tell you exactly what’s on their mind. People who are open and straightforward are some of the most important types of friends to have.”
A real friend will prioritize your friendship
If someone is constantly blowing off plans or rarely texts you back, they’re probably not in it for the long haul. Life may get busy, but a good friend will make sure to keep in touch. “One thing that really gets in the way of these bonds is when people don’t make time to truly be with their friends,” said Rowney. “If you don’t purposefully make time to see them, it can really hinder the friendships overall and it’s one of the main reasons why friendships fall by the wayside.”
In that same vein, a real friend will be present, giving you their full attention instead of being distracted by their phone while you’re hanging out. “A real friend stays present in the moment by paying attention to your needs along with theirs,” said Rowney.
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