Just one episode in and The Apprentice has already given us the laugh of the year.
The chumps, sorry contenders, were in South Africa, where the boys’ team organised a safari.
“And if you look to your left, you’ll see the elephants,” said Riyonn. “It’s a rhino,” came the factual reply.
Britain’s brightest brains indeed.
The 15 remaining candidates include several weapons-grade egos, one young Michael McIntyre lookalike called Ryan-Mark and a real-life Del Boy in Thomas Skinner.
Sugar sent his boastful “chancers, posers and brown-nosers” to Cape Town, where they were tasked with flogging “bespoke tours” to passing victims.
- Apprentice star Lottie Lion calls in police after being sent abuse and death threats
The blokes claimed their safari would include lions, leopards, rhinos, elephants and Cape buffalos.
They bragged about the “big five” but only delivered three…which sounds like a disappointing night on Love Island.
Although as the three included elephants, lions and rhinos, no-one asked for their dosh back.
The girls got on like a monkey house on fire, bickering and squabbling at every opportunity.
They opted for a wine-tasting tour which went down like Chateau Sarsons.
The women lost tourists, couldn’t find the cellar, charged some customers four times as much as the others and had to refund £249.03 to disappointed punters.
- Apprentice star Claude Littner admits he's cheapskate with pound shop obsession
And they only made a meagre profit of £525.93.
So it was a shock when they won. First out was chartered engineer Shahin Hassan, who claimed people call him “The Falcon”.
Sadly Sugar didn’t tell him: “Falcon, falc-orff”. It was surprising Sugar didn’t bin bad-tempered team leader Lewis as well.
The biggest character is a loopy librarian wonderfully called Lottie Lion.
She has already sunk her metaphorical claws into rival Lubna Farhan. Squeaky Iasha is easily the most irritating.
● LOTTIE had a fling with Lewis during filming, begging the question: Do librarians do it by the book?
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