IT’S 11am on a Wednesday, the kids are at school and former Hampshire housewife Camilla Constance is guiding a couple through sex in her home.
The 49-year-old has left the days of cooking and cleaning behind her to become a sex and intimacy coach who specialises in sparking pleasure and connection between couples – and no fetish or dysfunction is too obscure.
“We have a little study at the back of the house – the kid’s snug- and this is where I treat the clients too”, Camilla reveals.
“But depending on the client I can work in my bedroom with us all sitting on the bed together.
“I have found I work much better in my own home where I have a nice energy and I feel comfortable.”
Although packages are bespoke for each client, often people will pay £200 per session, which can last from an hour to 75 minutes – and most book a block of 10 visits.
After her kids head to school, Camilla will see clients from 11am until 2pm, and then she'll get ready for school finishing at 3pm.
To help make the space more sensual, the mum-of-three has been known to light scented candles, and put on music as well as provides treats like chocolate.
Camilla has helped hundreds of people, including couples of all ages, since she launched her business in 2016, but has found she is particularly skilled with aiding men overcoming erectile dysfunction.
She said: “I have never been a non-orgasmic woman, I’ve never been in that place, but for some reason I have an easy compassion and lack of judgement with men.
“Men feel very safe and easy with me. I work a lot with couples as well, I guess because of my background and experience I work with couples in a ‘stuck place’.”
Before she trained as an intimacy couple, Camilla left her well-off husband of 16 years for a boyfriend and a lover, and said the move helped ignite desires within her.
While on the surface it had appeared she had it all in life – included a nice house, three lovely children and kind partner – Camilla craved intimacy and a passionate sex life.
After allowing herself to follow her sexual cravings, she then was keen to help others to feel loved, touched and intimate too.
One of the ways she achieves this is helping couples work through their most private and hidden fetishes – from men liking wearing female underwear to golden showers.
She said: “An easy thing for me to help with is a couple where the man can admit to his partner that he has a fetish about feet that he has been holding for decades fearing judgement.
“She turns around and says ‘I love a foot massage, why haven’t you told me?’
“She’s yearning for her entire body to be worshipped and adored, but he’s thinking she’s going to find it weird and she’ll reject me."
CAMILLA'S GUIDE FOR BOOSTING INTIMACY
- Make eye contact
- Speak about what you desire
- Touch each other's body
- Foreplay is key
- Sex isn't just about penetrative sex
- Speak words of love about your partner
When couples book Camilla’s services, they will start by having lessons in the art of eye-gazing and she’ll help boost their intimacy through good communication.
She said: “They wouldn’t have sex on a first session. If they are going to end up having sex with me present it will be towards the end of a string of sessions.
“If for whatever a couple has tried something at home and it hasn’t worked, they may want met there.”
Camilla was adamant that her job is not “like the swinging world” and she keeps a professional distance, even when she does get “hands on”.
She said: “The reason why I’m happy to be in the room while people practise physical intimacy, aka sex, is I’m totally prepared to be hands on.
“If you have a woman whose husband is not happy about his c**k, I will tell her to hold it with love.
“In that situation I’m happy to demonstrate what I mean.”
When she does get involved, Camilla will show the man where to touch his partner, who is naked other than a robe over her, and will show how strokes and words can help a love-making session last for hours.
She advised that her participation is mainly “massage based” but she does have one intimate move that she recommends to all clients – and many will ask her to demonstrate on them.
Camilla revealed: “There’s this one stroke which I think is mind-blowing for men and women down from the heart chakra between your breast bone.
“The palm of your hand goes down the body and over the genitals, this is the same for men and women.
“You repeat with oil and it’s really luscious and beautiful. People say can you show us?”
The reason why I’m happy to be in the room while people practise physical intimacy, aka sex, is I’m totally prepared to be hands on.
She’ll also help men who are self-conscious about having a penis that they deem is too small or women who think their vagina is not “tight enough”.
Camilla added: “I try to educate people to go away from c**k-centric sex. People think sex is just about a big hard penis having penetrative sex with a woman, ejaculating with a woman, making babies and then it’s all over.
“Men with small penises feel there is no way to pleasure a woman, but they can learn the art of sex from the female perspective, they know how to please her.
“If you actually care to please your woman, you’ll learn the parts of her body to press.”
Speaking of the “damaging” myth that a “loose vagina” is not as pleasurable for men, she said that a “tight vagina is not ready for sex”.
She said: “When a vagina is ready for sex it is gaping open and greedy and ready to gobble in something.
“That is the woman who has got really aroused.
“He should enter this wide and eager vagina and then through orgasm the muscles tighten the vagina around his penis. Men don’t know this.”
To overcome any hang ups women have about their vagina, she’ll get men to speak directly to it and say what they love about it – be it feel, appearance, taste or smell.
Camilla said: “So much fear and inhibition melts away and she is hearing her lover speak love into a part she has felt shame about for the whole of her life.
“You would never do that unless a coach told you to.”
I try to educate people to go away from c**k-centric sex
Although steamy sessions can be sexually charged at times, Camilla insists she doesn’t get aroused with her clients.
She said: “It’s just professional. Whatever the couple experience isn’t including me.
“Anything they learn with me they walk away with me and it’s then the same experience without me there.
“If I was to create a threesome they would be reliant on me to be part of the experience. I want to empower them.”
Camilla, who is currently writing a book about sex, is very open with her less-than-ordinary job and loves to bring it up in parties to people she’s just met.
She said: “I enjoy saying it at a social gathering when people ask you what you what, people either love it or hate it.”
After her marriage broke down and she had a polyamorous relationship, Camilla said she also had sexual experiences with women and it turned her world upside down.
Although her mum called her “selfish”, and some people saw her as a “classic middle aged housewives who went off the rails, other people admired her freedom.
She even has the support of her ex-husband, her three kids, who are aged 16, 14 and 11, and her new “wonderful” partner – with whom she is now in a monogamous relationship.
Camilla said: “My ex-husband has been very supportive from day one. The kids have grown to be more accepting.”
And Camilla reckons that her intimacy services can help any couple, no matter how electric they think their sex life is.
She said: “Essentially people need to feel safe to share true intimacy.
“To have intimate, beautiful sex which everyone creates you need to have a safe environment.”
This Morning fans were previously left baffled at Phillip Scofield's reaction to sex coaching.
We shared that a sex coach found that for men, sex is as much about finding yourself as letting your hair down.
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