Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200. Go directly to hell.
Millennials have long been maligned for their inability to “adult” — from avoiding marriage to quitting their jobs to travel.
But perhaps most central to the millennial MO is the issue of property investments — of which they infamously have none.
So the cynical game-makers at Hasbro devised Monopoly for Millennials.
“Forget real estate. You can’t afford it anyway,” the cover of the $19.82 (get it?) board game reads.
Players don’t win with money to buy homes or railroads, but instead collect “experience points” by earning rewards such as a 3-Day Music Festival or going to a vegan bistro — because memories “last forever.”
Perhaps hitting the closest to home was one of the “hottest destinations” of all: couch-surfing.
Player pieces include a few things millennials simply can’t live without, such as a camera, sunglasses and a hashtag.
“Money doesn’t always buy a great time,” says the insultingly disingenuous description. “But experiences, whether they’re good — or weird — last forever.”
Let’s just hope their student loan debt and the threat of losing Social Security don’t.
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