Raising a child is no mean feat, no matter your age.
But according to one mum, it can be particularly challenging to be a parent in your thirties.
Catherine, a former magazine journalist turned parenting blogger who runs Littles, Love and Sunshine, has shared the struggles she and other mums her age face each day in an incredibly honest open letter on her website.
And people in the comments are saying the mum-of-two’s words have reduced them to tears.
She starts the letter by addressing the reader, the "thirtysomething" mum, and listing the places she sees her – the supermarket, the playground, the school-drop off.
But she knows the other parents don’t see her, because they are too busy chasing their toddler, admonishing their kid for pinching their brother or reaching for a wet wipe to clean up the child’s mess.
Catherine then goes on to describe what life is like for mums her age, who have become the "stereotypes" they once dreaded.
She says: "If ever there was a stark metaphor for life as a mum in her 30s, the public swimming pool has to be it. There we all are – the stereotypes we swore we never would be – wading knee-deep in the kiddies’ pool, eyes locked on our littles – and genuinely delighted by their antics.
"Although we may be there in pairs or groups, our conversations are piecemeal, we cannot relax. Our focus is entirely on our children. We are tired. We are distracted. Our tankini-clad bodies are battle-scarred and utterly not what they used to be."
The mum explains that all this has caused the "thirtysomethings" to let themselves go, making their "shiny twentysomethings" – when they had time to read glossy magazines and take selfies – seem like a very distant memory.
"You see, the truth is, we thirtysomethings have let ourselves go. No. We have let our SELVES go. We have small children and for the next little while, our SELVES will not come first.
"We will be sleeping (or not) according to the timetables of our toddlers and/or newborns and/or a combination of the above. Our hair will not be washed as often as we’d like. Sit-ups? What sit-ups?
"We will be wiping noses and bottoms and messes from the walls. We will be cooking what feels like continuously from breakfast to supper time and not leaving the table until at least a forkful of peas have been eaten.
"This is thirtysomething. It’s not easy – and that’s the truth."
But she doesn’t end the letter there, because according to Catherine, there is another truth parents need to know.
She says: "Nestled subtly amongst the twentysomethings, are the fortysomethings. They too are rested. They too are toned. They are alone, quietly reading a book. They see us, and they are sympathetic but also a bit smug. They’ve been there and done it and they know it doesn’t last forever.
"Girls, fortysomething is the holy grail. Fortysomething is coming. The decade we get our SELVES back."
The letter is rounded off with this message – a message of hope that things will improve in the future but also a warning not to wish away the time when children are small and they "want mummy".
"Yes, fortysomething is coming, and it’s going to be bliss. But don’t let it come too fast. If I’m to lose my self for a decade, motherhood sure is a delicious thing to lose it to."
Many mums took the time to share their thoughts on the blog post.
Read More
Popular parent bloggers
-
Reality of shopping with your partner
-
Mum’s rant about praising kids
-
10 reasons toddlers are terrors
-
‘My first child broke my vagina’
-
Telling off other people’s children
-
Taking your baby on holiday
-
Shattered mum’s baby sleep guide
-
Peppa Pig’s mum should take a break
One wrote: "Made me all warm inside and tear up! Bloody hormones."
Another commented: "Oh my God, I am 32 and I love your post. It’s made me cry and its also made me remind myself that they are small only once. I hate the thought of my children growing older. I love them to bit and I need to remind myself that the cleaning and the day to day things don’t always have to come first."
A third added: "What a lovely, thought provoking post! Definitely a piece that all new mothers should read!"
But not everyone was impressed with the letter.
"I understand what you’re saying, but it just seems a tad been offensive to assume that thirtysomethings is the standard/norm for motherhood. It’s just not. In the US, the average age of first time mothers is 25," posted one mum.
A second proclaimed: "As a ‘twentysomething’ I found this incredibly offensive. I have two littles & my life couldn’t be further from the ‘sitting flipping through magazines & taking selfies’, in fact, I don’t know anybody in their 20’s that have that luxury as they are working full time unless they have children."
Source: Read Full Article