SyFy has produced its last Sharknado movie, or so they say. The sixth installment, The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time, sextuples down on the poor production values, B-list actors, lame one-liners, and obvious movie homages that’ve marked the franchise. It desperately wants to be terrible so you’ll like it.
You undoubtedly won’t like it, however. There’s nothing endearing about the film aside from its animated opening credits. They’re violent and great, and proof-possible the concept might’ve been cool as a cartoon. Instead, the sixth Sharknado hams it up with ridiculous effects (I refuse to call them “special”) that belong in the depths of YouTube’s search results.
So Sharknado 6 is awful. Big shocker. What you might be interested in learning, however, is just how awful it is. (Spoilers ahead, if you somehow care.) These are the most cringe-inducing things and moments from The Last Sharknado: It’s About Time:
1. A giant shark eats a T-Rex.
The Last Sharknado opens with Fin (Ian Ziering) time traveling back to the Jurassic period (in a Hummer) where he promptly references Back to the Future 30 times, slides down a dinosaur tail, and witnesses a huge shark eating a Tyrannosaurus rex off a cliff.
2. The idea of “The First Sharknado.”
In order to kill Sharknadoes in the future, Fin and his buddies (who were all dead but are now alive again — thanks time travel!) must destroy “the first Sharknado,” and lo and behold there it is when Fin randomly arrives.
3. The plan to kill the First Sharknado is to paddle meteors at it.
This entire sequence is mind-numbing. April (Tara Reid) arrives, riding a Pteranodon. Meteors start raining down. It’s extinction! Everyone jumps on the dinosaur and they ride it into the Sharknado while April commands it to paddle meteors at sharks.
4. Fin rides a shark and makes it eat meteors.
This one needs its own entry. Fin jumps off the Pteranodon onto a shark and proceeds to make it eat meteors by steering its dorsal fin. You see, Fin’s smart, he knows a bunch of meteors inside a shark makes a bomb. He jumps off and the thing explodes inside the Sharknado which is morphing into a… time-nado!
5. The one-liners.
Sharknado 6 makes a point of uttering corny one-liners at every crucial other moment. They’re supposed to be terribly funny, but they’re all clunk city. Most of them are given to Fin, of course, but everyone gets a shot. Some lowlights:
-“We’re gonna need a bigger chainsaw.”
-“It’s feeding time.”
–“Shark kebob!”
-“Lets do the time warp again.”
6. The B-listers.
Ugh, I haven’t seen such a motley crew of B-list celebrities since the 2016 Republican convention. Sharknado 6 includes appearances by Tori Spelling, Dee Snider, La Toya Jackson, Gary Busey, and Mark McGrath, among others. Neil deGrasse Tyson also plays Merlin the Magician. He seems thoroughly befuddled by green screen acting so he fits right in.
7. Tara Reid’s decapitated head.
Fin carries around a decapitated robot head of his wife — it’s a love thing. But, when April turns up alive, Fin doesn’t get rid of it, which leads to this IQ-demolishing line of explanation: “It’s not real. It’s a robot.” No shit, buddy. You’re talking to the real person. But the April head comes in handy later. She blasts laser beams from her eyes like Cyclops.
8. Dragon sharks.
Sharknado 6 is basically Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. The gang travel through different time periods, killing Sharknadoes in each one, or something… They travel to the ’60s, the old west, the future, and, when they land in Camelot, Fin pulls Excalibur from the stone and comes face to face with fire-breathing sharks. Shockingly, there are no Game of Thrones references, unfortunately.
9. Nova and April death sequence.
In one scene, Nova and April are both eaten off a boat by sharks — which doesn’t matter, of course, because: time travel. But how it happens is so mailed-in it’s hard to believe. Nova (Cassandra Scerbo) gets chomped on the leg and dragged overboard and April just… watches, like when someone asks you to hold the elevator door open. Meh. It’s a brutal piece of green screen acting. Luckily, she gets eaten right after.
10. The final Sharknado.
The movie ends with a whirling Sharknado/time-nado that finds Fin kissing the decapitated April head while it’s lodged in a shark’s mouth. They also fight over the flux capacitor from Back to the Future while characters out of time spin around them. Here’s a look. Words don’t do it justice.
11. Bonus: “Fin” end title card.
Sharknado 6 ends with a “Fin” title card. Hilarious, right? It’s always funny to repeat Simpsons jokes from 20 years ago. Hopefully, they were just referencing the main character.
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