Recovered anorexic whose weight plummeted to just FIVE STONE reveals her dramatic transformation after conquering her eating disorder demons – and she now says ‘curvy is beautiful’
- Lola Pahkinamaki battled with the eating disorder anorexia from the age of 16
- She became so thin that her bones would fracture when she walked
- After doctors warned her that she would die she began the road to recovery
- She now weighs over eight stone and is trying her hand at modelling
2
View
comments
A woman whose eating disorder saw her weight plummet to just five-and-a-half stone has made a healthy recovery, and learned to love her curves.
Lola Pahkinamaki, 26, from Finland, battled anorexia from the age of 16 when she began starving herself to try and lose a few pounds.
But her eating disorder quickly escalated and Lola became dangerously thin, shedding more than half her body weight – with children’s age nine clothing hanging off her skeletal frame.
Lola soon became so fragile she would fracture her bones just by walking.
She only started to recover after doctors told her she would die if she did not get better and after she received hospital treatment.
The model and blogger has battled back to health – and claims she has taken inspiration from the fashion doll Barbie.
Lola said: ‘I have been overweight and I have been dangerously underweight, but what I am today – after long road to hit final recovery – is body positive.
Lola Pahkinamaki battled with anorexia from the age of 16, seeing her weight drop to five and a half stone at her lowest, but now at the age of 26 she has made a full recovery having gained five stone. Pictured: Before (left) and after recovery
‘I have battled anorexia twice because the first time I started my recovery I thought it was only weight gain I had to do for healing.
‘But I know it’s a mental battle too – when your brain looks good and healthy, you feel good and healthy. And when you feel good and healthy, you look good and healthy.
-
Plastic surgeon from a dating site for ‘beautiful people’… Fitness-loving mother-of-two insists her breast implants are… - Sneak peek of the explosive Bodyguard finale reveals yet…
Share this article
‘People call me Barbie now because of the way I look. She has always been my favourite character.
‘I call myself ‘Brain Barbie’ because I very well understand the real beauty comes from inside of your head.
‘I love her attitude, she is always nice to everyone, even haters. She is my biggest idol.
‘I mostly love to see curvy pictures of Barbie today. To me curvy is beautiful.’
Lola says that growing up she was bullied for her appearance but claims the Mattel character has always been there for her.
She said: ‘It was horrible especially when I got older and overweight, I also had bad skin and no money for clothes like other kids wore.
At her lowest weight (seen here) Lola was prone to fractures because her body was so fragile
‘I got most of my clothes as a donation from other families, sometime my lovely grandmother bought me some but she was very practical and never bought anything that look cute or nice.
‘Barbie has always been there for me. Her character is still something that motivates me: treat other people the way you would like to be treated yourself.’
Lola first developed an eating disorder when she was in her teens, when dieting lead to an unhealthy relationship with food.
She said: ‘It was triggered by lots of different things – a difficult childhood, unhealthy relationships in my family, lots of heavy issues on my mind, bullying at school, not enough money for food and very bad self-confidence.
‘I’d started losing weight when I was 16 because I was overweight and wanted to slim down, but it started to go too far.
‘I’m 161cm tall and was 40lbs overweight in my teens – at 12st 20lbs – because I found comfort in food.
‘I handled my feelings by eating and I loved sweets, it was the reason I gained so much weight.
‘In one year I lost weight by eating healthily. I started to do exercise and I loved the way it made me feel.’
Lola was able to maintain a healthy weight for more than a year before she gradually began to lose more and more.
She said: ‘I was very stressed – I was studying hard and it was expensive. At the same time I worked hard after school and all the time I was very tired.
As she lost more weight Lola was unable to fit into adult clothing and began shopping in the children’s section, wearing age 9 clothes
‘I started to heal my high stress levels by doing sports, running, drinking water a lot, taking long walks with my dog and so on.
‘Day by day it got worse but it was the thing that also helped me to feel better – until I didn’t sleep well anymore and I didn’t want to eat anymore.
‘It was then I met with a doctor and right away she sent me to hospital.
‘I was not extremely underweight at that point, but my body was very sick – mostly because of a shock after huge weight loss, then more weight loss, then lots of stress. The body is not a machine.
‘So my first recovery happened in hospital. My weight was 7st 5lbs when I signed in. When I left to go home I was 8st 5lbs again.
‘I did gain some weight after recovery again. In a hospital I only gained weight, but I didn’t find the reasons for my eating disorder so I started to try and find some help for my feelings from food.
Lola (pictured before anorexia) initially began dieting because she felt ‘overweight’ but it soon spiralled out of control
‘I started to gain weight a bit quickly. The gaining weight was too horrible for me, I stated to hate myself. I was 9st 9lbs now and I started to lose weight again.’
After two years, Lola found herself in a dark place, and she saw her weight drop even lower.
She said: ‘I found myself very low, at my lowest ever. I was ashamed of myself.
‘I chose large clothes to hide my body, I kept a smile on my face, but when I got home I cried alone.
‘I felt so bad, I felt so guilty I had this kind of problem when kids in Africa had no food.
‘My lowest weight was 5st 5lbs, I had no appetite and when I tried to eat the food came out so I needed to eat very slowly to boost my digestion.’
Lola eventually lost so much weight that she no longer fitted into adults clothes, and had to shop in the children’s section.
She continued: ‘I used to wear children’s clothes as not even the smallest adults clothes fit, they were too large.
‘It was hard to find children’s clothes too, especially trousers because when they fit for hip they were all so short, longer trousers were too wide.
‘It was a blessing I found leggings, and college pants with ribbon to make them smaller. I would wear a children’s age 9-10.
‘Trousers were size 146/152cm (age 11). I had only one pair of jeans, I found them from H&M.
‘Finding jeans was the hardest. All underwear was from Disney.’
As she lost weight Lola’s body grew a layer of fine hair in an attempt to keep her body warm.
Lola (pictured after recover) finally found the strength to recover when a doctor told her that if she didn’t begin to gain weight she would die
Inspired by the character Barbie Lola is now trying her hand at modelling and now says that ‘curves are beautiful’
Lola (pictured post recovery at a healthy weight) is now hoping to help other people with eating disorders to recover
She explained: ‘I was cold all the time and my body grew a lanugo hair on it. I wore a fur coat and wool socks in the summer and many trousers to feel warmer everyday.
‘It was odd for all people. I hated when people said I looked so thin so I started to wear big hoodies and pants to cover my shape when I went out.
‘The problem was I didn’t want to eat either. I met a doctor because I got fractures easily, just by walking as I was so frail.’
Eventually a doctor delivered Lola a hard blow, and made her realise that if she didn’t recover she would die.
WHAT IS ANOREXIA?
Anorexia is an eating disorder and a mental health condition.
People diagnosed with it try to keep their weight as low as possible by eating little or excessive exercise.
Men and women can develop the illness, however it typically starts in the mid-teens.
Those with anorexia can have a distorted image of their bodies, thinking their fat when in fact they are severely underweight.
Causes of the condition are unknown, but those with it have either low self-esteem, have a family history of eating disorders or feel pressured from society or place of work.
Long term health complications can include muscle and bone problems, loss of sex drive, kidney or bowl problems or having a weakened immune system.
Treatment for anorexia can include cognitive behavioural therapy.
She said: ‘This was the moment he said I need some hospital or I will die. It was a shock to me and I feel it was a first point that really made me think about I have to recovery the way I will never fall in sick with this disease again.
‘So I started to fight back. The recovery is now something I will do rest of my life which I had to understand and accept before I started to heal.
‘Eating disorder is a mental illness, this was the second thing I had to understand and allow, and this was the hardest part for me as well.
‘Usually we think having some mental illness mean you are mad or insane and it is very sad. I feel it is more mad to not heal your mind than heal it and talk about it.
‘And healing mind is actually very simple daily things we can do: relax, thinking, finding positivity and eating healthy, being social, building healthy self esteem and taking care of ourselves and other people around us.
‘My recovery started by eating slowly, small meals many, many times in a day. I have shared my recovery tips on a blog.
‘To me it was very important to keep focus on slow gain, I didn’t want to get overweight again so I gained my weight by eating normal food – not sweets.
‘I challenged myself to have desserts sometimes – no matter how much I hated it while in recovery, it was so scary to me.
‘And after that I didn’t let myself run or do any other exercise to burn it off.
‘I took it in very small steps, until I was around 7st 8lbs. It took a long time, more than two years.’
After a year of maintaining a healthy body weight, Lola discovered fitness and began to work as a coach to help others to gain weight, recover from eating disorders and also to lose weight in a healthy way.
She said: ‘I can say I have seen everything with weight problems and I feel I am the best reference of my work myself.
Lola says that she avoids doing too much exercise but does at home workouts twice a week
‘Body positivity was the biggest thing to me by very deep self searching I found peace – self searching as I call brain work actually.
‘And this is what I actually do today – brain coaching meaning boosting people’s minds to think about themselves in more positive way and finding the body peace by that.
‘Body positive means body peace to me, and this is what has given me the balance I have always wanted but never reached before.
‘As I said eating disorder is mental illness but it is not something you should be ashamed of.
‘You should be proud of yourself when you can deny your problems, and my that you should be proud of you find some help for your problems.
‘It is more cool and more brave to take care of yourself than to hide your problems and act everything is OK. I know what I am talking about.
‘I want to help people with their problems because I know it is possible to rise from near death and find peace.’
Lola is now trying her hand at modelling, posing in sultry underwear snaps as she is proud to show off her figure.
She said: ‘I love modeling because I love the camera and this is what I want to do, I feel very comfortable in my body today. I am heavier and I want to share this by pictures.’
Lola now weighs 8st 8lbs and is a size small.
She said: ‘Today I don’t weight myself, I don’t count calories and I don’t follow any other diets but just eat when I’m hungry.
‘I don’t do exercise as much as I did before – I do a home workout around twice a week.
‘At times I go to gym for lifting heavy weights, it relieves my stress well.
‘Cardio I don’t do at all, only walks outside with my dogs. It is what my body and mind prefer.’
If you or someone you know is suffering from an eating disorder contact Beat for free help and advice.
Source: Read Full Article