New Research Paper Suggests James Bond Is A Severe Alcoholic

Research into the drinking habits of James Bond suggests that the fictional secret agent has a pretty severe alcohol problem.

Whether we realize it or not, one reason we enjoy watching movies, reading books, and binging TV shows so much is because we fantasize about being a part of them. We wonder what it would be like to live in those fictional worlds and spend just a day in the shoes of some of our heroes. What man hasn’t once dreamt about what it might be like to be James Bond for the day?

Well, it turns out that even if you were 007 for a day, you probably wouldn’t remember most of it. While a lot of what Mr. Bond does is get involved in high-speed car chases and spend his evenings with beautiful women, the likelihood is he is doing a lot of that while very, very drunk.

At least that’s what a new paper written by researchers from the University of Otago in New Zealand have come to discover. They found that while on screen, Bond has made his way through no less than 109 alcoholic beverages. That’s an average of 4.5 drinks per movie. In Quantum of Solace, he upped the ante, drinking six Vesper Martinis. That would have apparently put the British spy well into a range that can be fatal.

The research didn’t stop at simply working out how much Bond is putting away, as reported by The New York Times. The paper also points out that once the secret agent is suitably liquored up, he engages in all sorts of dangerous behavior. That behavior includes, but is not limited to, sleeping with enemies, operating heavy machinery, and also a little high-stakes gambling.

As entertaining as this glimpse into the life of a fictional character is, some of you may be rolling your eyes and thinking what a waste of time it was to research this topic. Well, never fear, those who wrote the paper didn’t simply do it out of boredom. The Medical Journal of Australia runs a competition every Christmas where universities can submit funny and strange ideas, and the Bond study was this year’s winner.

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