Porsha Williams is having a baby — and while she couldn’t be more ecstatic, she also has her reservations.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I was excited [but] I had mixed feelings. The other feeling that I had beside excitement was fear,” the Real Housewives of Atlanta star, who suffered a miscarriage six years ago, reveals to PEOPLE in an interview for the newest issue, out Friday.
“I’ve had a miscarriage before in my past, which I’ve also been open about because I suffer with fibroids and had to have a myomectomy,” continues Williams, 37. “So just the fear of, ‘Is the baby going to be okay? Will I make it full term?’ All those questions that you ask if you’ve had a miscarriage before.”
“Going into the first appointment and being able to see baby and hear baby and know that baby is fine, then I can really wrap my mind around actually becoming a mommy,” she explains, sharing that she would be seeing her little one for the first time later on the same day as the interview.
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Williams has quite the partner to lean on in boyfriend Dennis McKinley. She raves of him, “The thought of me getting that blessing after praying for it for so long and getting that blessing with someone who is just as excited as me — it’s Dennis’ first child, just like me — and it’s something we’ve both always wanted … It’s like a dream come true.”
“I believe he’s probably shed more tears during the process than me,” Williams tells PEOPLE of McKinley, whom she has known for years but only began dating this past year. “It’s just the sweetest moment of my life right now.”
The reality star told her beau the good news on his birthday in late July, which she admits “was really hard to do” because she had to wait after finding out herself. And their baby on the way, though a “surprise,” has only strengthened their bond.
“The pregnancy came from the left, but it definitely has brought us closer together because you realize when it sets in that you are actually bringing a life to this world, that you have become family overnight,” the co-host of Dish Nation says. “So now a lot of the things that we had talked about are a reality, and we work really hard at wanting to be a good couple and build a strong foundation for our new family that we’re going to have. ”
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While the couple don’t know the sex of their baby just yet, Williams says they have “talked about names” — and even have a few early contenders.
“One of the names that we got rid of that he liked was Napoleon. [I was like], ‘I don’t know about that one for a boy!’ ” she tells PEOPLE. “One of the names that he has absolutely settled on — I’m not settled on it yet — is PJ. PJ stands for Porsha Jr. He wants to name our daughter Porsha Jr.”
“I’m not really sure because I think she’s going to be mad, like, ‘Really, Mom?’ And then I’m going to have to try to explain it and he’s probably going to deny that it was all his idea.”
For more about Porsha Williams’ journey to becoming a mom, pick up the latest issue of PEOPLE, on newsstands Friday.
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