Bachelor in Paradise is going to need to install a nursery next to the tiki bar really soon.
Fan favorites and brunette soul mates Jade Roper and Tanner Tolbert just welcomed their first child — a girl — four weeks early on Aug. 17.
More: Carly Waddell & Evan Bass from Bachelor in Paradise Are Expecting Their First Child Together
Roper wrote on Instagram that the baby is in good health despite her surprise early entrance into the world. Maybe she was lured out by all the dancing at Carly Waddell and Evan Bass’ recent wedding, where Jade was the floral-crowned matron of honor. (Carly the cruise ship singer and Evan the erectile dysfunction doc just revealed they’re expecting their first child together too if you can even stand it. So sweet it hurts our teeth.) Or perhaps the early arrival was orchestrated by show host Chris Harrison, who we all know is really God and Ultimate Puppet Master of Love and Fertility.
Whatever the case, Baby Roper-Tolbert is doing just fine. She’s probably already been offered a spot in Paradise in 2040 — and her mom’s breast milk is likely served in a cocktail glass garnished with a paper umbrella.
The new parents have yet to release the little girl’s name, but Roper did share a photo on Instagram of the trio, taken by Melissa Rieke.
More: Jade Roper & Tanner Tolbert of Bachelor in Paradise Are Totally Having a Baby
Roper captioned the shot, “We did it! Our little sweetheart is here! She arrived on her own terms, quickly and four weeks early, but she is perfect in every way, healthy and doing well.”
And — because she is Jade Roper, real-life Disney Princess and natural cosmetics mogul — the new mom also wrote, “Precious little girl, there are no words to describe the feeling of holding you in our arms for this first time and looking into your beautiful eyes. We love you so much. #bestdayever #ilovemyfamily.”
Could someone just… cuddle me? Right now? Maybe with some hashtags?
More: Three Things I Planned for My Birth That Definitely Didn’t Happen
Roper and Tolbert talked to People about their pregnancy adventure via a bunch of homemade videos.
“I’m hoping for a boy,” Tolbert said originally. “Not that I don’t want a girl; I actually want one of each. It’s just, I’m going to make her keep trying until we have a boy, so I’d like to get it out of the way sooner.”
Jesus, Tanner. If you say, “…make her keep trying…” ever again, we’re going to rescind everything nice we ever said about you.
At least Roper held her ground. “He thinks I’m going to have four children if the first three are girls, but I think he’s wrong on that.”
Only Chris Harrison knows what will happen, and he’s not talking. Yet.