Woman spots husband’s nickname for her in texts to mates – and ends marriage

A woman claims she knew she had to leave her husband when she found messages on his phone with a cruel nickname for her.

The mum, writing anonymously, said that she read the text when her little boy was just two years old.

"From the moment our son was born, nothing changed for my husband," she wrote on Mamamia .

"He absolutely hated telling me what his plans were."

She says there was a shift in their marriage after their son was born, which she calls a "stubborn reluctance to tell us when he was going to participate in our lives."

One morning, when he was in the shower, she heard his phone ‘pinging’ incessantly.

Naturally, she checked to see if there was anything urgent – but found a group message with his mates organising a ‘do over’ of the night before.

He had been out until midnight – presumably drinking – and had gone straight to the shower in the morning without speaking to his wife or baby.

But it was the fact he’d had time to reply to his mates that really riled her – and then she saw his nickname for her.

She recalls reading a text saying he couldn’t make the drinks because "SWMBO will say no".

Bemused and irritated he had blamed his absence on her, she confronted him about it and he casually replied: "It means ‘She Who Must Be Obeyed’".

She compares hearing it to being slapped in the face.

"It wasn’t a matter of ‘obeying’ me… It’s not called ‘asking permission’ like he’s a teenager and I’m his mother," she wrote.

"It’s called respect for your family.

"After five years of marriage, this is what I’d become to him."

Even though she had been with him for 10 years, she says she knew she had to walk away from their relationship – as he no longer valued her.

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Her full piece can be read on the Mamamia website .

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