Jon Stewart crawled out from under Stephen Colbert’s “Late Show” desk Monday night to offer up some relationship advice to the media on how to cope with a dump from Trump.
The former “Daily Show” host joined Colbert in mocking the incident that sparked a media uproar last Friday when several news outlets were banned from attending a press briefing at The White House.
“It’s like they say,” Colbert said, “if you love the First Amendment, set it free. If it comes back, don’t let it in the press briefing.”
See more: Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon Skewer Donald Trump for His Inability to Speak (Video)
Stewart then looked directly into the camera to comfort the brokenhearted media.
“Hey guys, hey media, so I heard Donald broke up with you. Stings a little, doesn’t it? You finally thought you’d met your match: a blabbermouth who’s as thin-skinned and narcissistic as you are,” Stewart said. “Well, now it’s over! Well, good riddance, I say! Kick him to the curb.”
“It is time for you to get your groove back, media,” Stewart continued, “because let’s face facts. You kind of let yourself go a little bit for these past few years. You put on a few pundits, obsessing, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, about this one guy. ‘What’s Donny up to? Did he say anything about us? You think he’s gonna come on our show? Do you think he even likes us? He doesn’t even have to come on. He can just call us! Oh, Donny, please, just let us know you’re okay!’”
See more: Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers Skewer Trump for Rolling Back Transgender Student Bathroom Protections (Video)
Stewart reassured the press that “70-year-old men don’t get less cranky or racist as time goes by,” convincing them that this so-called breakup is actually a good thing for them.
“Here’s my point, media. Here’s my point,” he said. “This breakup with Donald Trump has given you, the media, an amazing opportunity for self-reflection and improvement. Instead of worrying about whether Trump is un-American, or if he thinks you’re the enemy, or if he’s being mean to you, or if he’s going to let you go back into the briefings, do something for yourself. Self-improvement! Take up a hobby. I recommend journalism.”